Sheep

October 28, 2009
After going to Catalyst a couple of weeks back, Lance came home with a stack of books he was pretty excited about written by speakers he had heard there. One I was most interested in is called Scouting the Divine written by Margaret Feinberg. Hungering to know more about what Jesus is really meaning when He made comments like, "I am the good shepherd." In the culture of His day, most would have know all about the ins and outs of sheep herding, even if they themselves were not herders. Lance had explained some to me, and then one day in boredom, I went and found the book, reading through it. I was amazed at what training and discipline comes with raising sheep and what it meant for me and my relationship with God.
There is a certain loneliness that comes with being a new mother. I'm certain all moms would agree with that. Beautiful days pass you by as you deal with fussy or sleepy babies, not even risking an attempt at cruising the mall. As London grows, I can look back on the weeks and see how her little hands are molding my heart as an instrument used by God more than any other person or experience. So after reading some of this book, I wonder for the reasons on this loneliness.
Young rams that are jealous or agressive become dangerous. They ram into other sheep or fences. At this point, the shepherd removes the ram from the rest of the flock and puts it into a fenced area alone. Basically, a sheep that does not fear and respect it's master does not trust it's master and therefore is dangerous not only to itself, but to the rest of the flock.
I watch other mothers in our church probably more than they'll ever know now. Not having been raised in a "church going" family, I'm baffled at what a family centered around God would look like. I never knew before how important mothers are. I never knew the strength and trust and faith that is demanded of their hearts. I've decided that this lonely period is essential to my relationship with God and my trust and respect for Him as I try to raise my daughter in a way that's pleasing to Him. I do want to encourage other young mothers out there though. Before I read this woman's accounts of her first hand experience as a shepherd, I never thought that maybe this area in my life is there for a reason. I thought it was simply that I have few friends with children, and those that do have them, are crazy busy haha. I think it's our job to encourage each other and remind ourselves and one another during this time that this just could be God's way of readying our hearts for the assurance in Him we will need when our little ones are much more independent. Until then, I'll spend much more time in reading God's Word and talking to Him and hoping to be as flexible as possible for Him to mold me however He pleases. Maybe this time will pass faster that way ;) haha and now, I'm off to get my crying, teething baby from her nap as the last bit of beautiful sunshine, the only we've gotten in awhile, fades with my chances of being out in it. I know that soon, I'll be wishing for a day like today, just staying in with my baby girl and my Good Shepherd :)