A list of simply ten. Ten things of the here and now to help live in the moment and be grateful for it.
a birthday boy that gives us cause to celebrate the one man in our home (other than Jazz)
a little girl that sits to watch the Nutcracker ballet over and over
that little girl changing her dress up dress to match the sugar plum fairies and join them in dance.
warm breath of little ones fogging up cold windows
Christmas break with it's freedom and long list of non-school books to read
this year's Christmas ornaments for the girls hanging on the tree. two little glass angels
a moment of calm with the littlest one sleeping and the bigger little one dancing to Nutcracker music
the knowledge of how anxious and scared Mary was so many nights ago, now that I'm a mother as well
also, the knowledge of the feelings she may have felt after finally holding her precious wee one, except she held within her a much larger hope
a house, warm and cozy, that falls somewhere in between a preschool with it's toys and craft decorations hanging all over to a coffee house with jazz playing and an incessant aroma of coffee
Monday, December 19, 2011
Monday, November 28, 2011
Where value is found
Because of some recent craziness in our house, I've been thinking on value as of late. Where it can be found. What determines it. My head has always said that value is determined in small things, but I don't know that my heart thought much on it until recently. However, as I've been looking for my value, I believe I have discovered just where it resides.
Today is a pretty typical day. It's not quite 3pm and the girls are napping. London fought sleep quite viciously, but finally surrendered. I washed a load of clothes that had a disposable diaper in them, and therefore, washed the load three times now. (Salt, by the way. Run them again with only salt sprinkled into the machine instead of detergent. who knew?)
I've cooked a whole chicken with some veggies mixed in, deboned it, and used the broth from it for some homemade soup. I've painted half of Story's room with primer. I've taken a long bath. blah blah blah.
As I stood at the sink wiping it down, I stared out the window. (I recently took the mini blinds down so we only have curtains so that I can see up into the tree and sky while I stand there.)
I noticed a chubby squirrel digging in the yard, looking for a treasure he buried back when food was plentiful with a watchful eye toward our backdoor, just in case our Westie came running full speed at him again. He found his nut, then ran up the tree and laid across a few twigs on a branch right in front of my window to cover himself with his tail and eat his find.
And I thought...there's my value in today. It's not a list of things I do, whether long or short. It's not a paycheck brought home, or bills that come in. It's not the size, appearance, or cleanliness of your home. It's not what you do while constantly on the go. It's what you do when you stop. ...and if you stop.
My day is not good because it is productive. My day is good because of moments God gives to glimpse Him in His creation. It's little feet in footed pj's dangling from a sleepy toddler as you hold them and sway and hum, attempting to coax them back to sleep. It's simple statements from preschoolers that simply tell you, "you're doing a good job."
It's a moment saturated with radiating, never ending love from a Father. Value is found in understanding that this world is not only about Him, and not you, but that it is fleeting. This season will not last, and neither will these troubles. But neither will these sweet moments. So, which will we focus on? The fleeting stress and anxiety? Or, the fleeting moments of trees losing the very last of this years' leaves and opportunities to greet or compliment a stranger? Tis the season, you know. ;)
Today is a pretty typical day. It's not quite 3pm and the girls are napping. London fought sleep quite viciously, but finally surrendered. I washed a load of clothes that had a disposable diaper in them, and therefore, washed the load three times now. (Salt, by the way. Run them again with only salt sprinkled into the machine instead of detergent. who knew?)
I've cooked a whole chicken with some veggies mixed in, deboned it, and used the broth from it for some homemade soup. I've painted half of Story's room with primer. I've taken a long bath. blah blah blah.
As I stood at the sink wiping it down, I stared out the window. (I recently took the mini blinds down so we only have curtains so that I can see up into the tree and sky while I stand there.)
I noticed a chubby squirrel digging in the yard, looking for a treasure he buried back when food was plentiful with a watchful eye toward our backdoor, just in case our Westie came running full speed at him again. He found his nut, then ran up the tree and laid across a few twigs on a branch right in front of my window to cover himself with his tail and eat his find.
And I thought...there's my value in today. It's not a list of things I do, whether long or short. It's not a paycheck brought home, or bills that come in. It's not the size, appearance, or cleanliness of your home. It's not what you do while constantly on the go. It's what you do when you stop. ...and if you stop.
My day is not good because it is productive. My day is good because of moments God gives to glimpse Him in His creation. It's little feet in footed pj's dangling from a sleepy toddler as you hold them and sway and hum, attempting to coax them back to sleep. It's simple statements from preschoolers that simply tell you, "you're doing a good job."
It's a moment saturated with radiating, never ending love from a Father. Value is found in understanding that this world is not only about Him, and not you, but that it is fleeting. This season will not last, and neither will these troubles. But neither will these sweet moments. So, which will we focus on? The fleeting stress and anxiety? Or, the fleeting moments of trees losing the very last of this years' leaves and opportunities to greet or compliment a stranger? Tis the season, you know. ;)
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Strength in my hope for the future
The "not of the world, but in the world" Christian mentality has always been easy for me in ways. The Spirit within me has always had a pretty bold fight against many mentalities our world and culture sends us, which is great, except that does leave me friendless many of my days. The one mentality I've always seemed to struggle with the most, however, is the instant gratification.
Our culture has raised us to believe that not only do we need better, we DESERVE better, and we deserve better right this second. Books took too long, then newspapers took too long. Next to fall was the even more brief Internet article. Now, your message to me must be 140 characters or less, or I'm moving on. I'm bored. I'm impatient. I'm done.
Temporary isn't always best, but we think it is if it means instant.
Where this hurts the most? Parenting. Motherhood. I can see from my view as a few years into the mix, but still quite the rookie, why so many mothers and fathers start out with motivation and joy in parenthood, but soon feel defeated and give up. The idea that you must spend 2 to 5 years investing your time, your money, your heart, and yourself into something before you see the rewards come to fruitation is beyond our comprehension.
Not that you aren't rewarded 1000 times a day, but it takes awhile to be rewarded by seeing them and not a mirror.
Recently, we had our first trip to the Emergency Room. It was pretty traumatic for London and I both, but it was a major milestone in motherhood for me. For the last few weeks, she has been transitioning out of that beloved toddler stage to the preschooler one, so you can just BE with her more without entertaining or distracting constantly. I've always known she was my silly but serious child. I know how she will respond and react. I knew that though she would still be scared and in pain, she would calm if we only got her cleaned up and all the blood washed away. I knew that I would have to be gentle, firm, and specific about all the details about going to the doctor to get her boo-boo fixed. I knew I had to be sensitive. Oh, so sensitive for our sensitive girl. But, I did not know one thing.
I never knew how strong London had become.
Oh sure, she's been strong before, but it was always a strength she drew from me, or her daddy, or even a blanket. She wasn't as strong as she was comforted. But this time, she was strong, in her own, on her own. She still needed me, of course. I held her the whole time. I hugged her while they gave her the shot (that took FOREVER.) I hummed and sang to her right after it happened while I put pressure on the cut to stop the bleeding and have a look. But, she was strong. She is strong.
From the time I found out I was expecting her, it has been almost 3.5 years. I have poured out myself again and again, laying there at night or nap time completely empty and begging my Father for more. For more joy, for more patience, for more self-control, and love, and faith, and and and and. And He always gave them to me. I saw them as well that night. I saw my joy in my little girl seeing other people helping her and her trust deepening. I saw my self-control in restraining my emotions when all I wanted to do was cry and panic, but she needed calm and support.
I'm so proud of who she is becoming, and I'm that much more motivated to continue pouring all I know and have of Him into her. That strength and calm we saw in her that night were hers, but taught by us. And that should be motivation for any parent or teacher, even if that child doesn't come home with you at night.
Our culture has raised us to believe that not only do we need better, we DESERVE better, and we deserve better right this second. Books took too long, then newspapers took too long. Next to fall was the even more brief Internet article. Now, your message to me must be 140 characters or less, or I'm moving on. I'm bored. I'm impatient. I'm done.
Temporary isn't always best, but we think it is if it means instant.
Where this hurts the most? Parenting. Motherhood. I can see from my view as a few years into the mix, but still quite the rookie, why so many mothers and fathers start out with motivation and joy in parenthood, but soon feel defeated and give up. The idea that you must spend 2 to 5 years investing your time, your money, your heart, and yourself into something before you see the rewards come to fruitation is beyond our comprehension.
Not that you aren't rewarded 1000 times a day, but it takes awhile to be rewarded by seeing them and not a mirror.
Recently, we had our first trip to the Emergency Room. It was pretty traumatic for London and I both, but it was a major milestone in motherhood for me. For the last few weeks, she has been transitioning out of that beloved toddler stage to the preschooler one, so you can just BE with her more without entertaining or distracting constantly. I've always known she was my silly but serious child. I know how she will respond and react. I knew that though she would still be scared and in pain, she would calm if we only got her cleaned up and all the blood washed away. I knew that I would have to be gentle, firm, and specific about all the details about going to the doctor to get her boo-boo fixed. I knew I had to be sensitive. Oh, so sensitive for our sensitive girl. But, I did not know one thing.
I never knew how strong London had become.
Oh sure, she's been strong before, but it was always a strength she drew from me, or her daddy, or even a blanket. She wasn't as strong as she was comforted. But this time, she was strong, in her own, on her own. She still needed me, of course. I held her the whole time. I hugged her while they gave her the shot (that took FOREVER.) I hummed and sang to her right after it happened while I put pressure on the cut to stop the bleeding and have a look. But, she was strong. She is strong.
From the time I found out I was expecting her, it has been almost 3.5 years. I have poured out myself again and again, laying there at night or nap time completely empty and begging my Father for more. For more joy, for more patience, for more self-control, and love, and faith, and and and and. And He always gave them to me. I saw them as well that night. I saw my joy in my little girl seeing other people helping her and her trust deepening. I saw my self-control in restraining my emotions when all I wanted to do was cry and panic, but she needed calm and support.
I'm so proud of who she is becoming, and I'm that much more motivated to continue pouring all I know and have of Him into her. That strength and calm we saw in her that night were hers, but taught by us. And that should be motivation for any parent or teacher, even if that child doesn't come home with you at night.
Friday, October 28, 2011
{This Moment}
{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.
Friday, October 7, 2011
An October day...
I could live out my life inside of an October day. Granted, ours lately have felt more like September or even August, but I have decidedly turned a blind eye to this last gust of summer from mother nature and begin my wind down now. I love the slow stillness we all eventually must step into that comes with the falling of the leaves.
Summer is so full of life. It's fast and passionate with extremes on every side. It's extremely hot, extremely rainy, extremely long, loud, or all of the above. Little feet run hard with not much left for anything but sleeping by the end of the day.
In the fall, that begins to slow. We wake up and spend the day outdoors while the little ones discover new things each day from the yard they thought they knew. For myself, I've already picked out my spot from which I shall watch this season pass. A porch swing tucked under a red maple tree on my back patio.
In each season, I feel compelled to participate, except this one. In the winter, I have a need to craft and create. In the spring, to grow things and clean and make new. In the summer, to play and be crazy. But...in the autumn, I feel an innate desire to simply watch. And I do. From my porch swing, I watch as the leaves over my head turn a little more red each day. The plum mums beside me open their buds a little more, grasping for the little bit of the slanting sun that the tree and house allotted them. Little ones get better each day at walking, running, climbing.
Sometimes, someone sits beside me and watches as well. At times, it's a friend, Lance, or a loved family member, but usually it's a little one coming to rest awhile and swing with mama. Eventually, they all get down and go on their way, but I still watch. Laundry can wait until nap time. For now, I am watching my hope for the future simply be kids in a time of no worry or difficulty.
Summer is so full of life. It's fast and passionate with extremes on every side. It's extremely hot, extremely rainy, extremely long, loud, or all of the above. Little feet run hard with not much left for anything but sleeping by the end of the day.
In the fall, that begins to slow. We wake up and spend the day outdoors while the little ones discover new things each day from the yard they thought they knew. For myself, I've already picked out my spot from which I shall watch this season pass. A porch swing tucked under a red maple tree on my back patio.
In each season, I feel compelled to participate, except this one. In the winter, I have a need to craft and create. In the spring, to grow things and clean and make new. In the summer, to play and be crazy. But...in the autumn, I feel an innate desire to simply watch. And I do. From my porch swing, I watch as the leaves over my head turn a little more red each day. The plum mums beside me open their buds a little more, grasping for the little bit of the slanting sun that the tree and house allotted them. Little ones get better each day at walking, running, climbing.
Sometimes, someone sits beside me and watches as well. At times, it's a friend, Lance, or a loved family member, but usually it's a little one coming to rest awhile and swing with mama. Eventually, they all get down and go on their way, but I still watch. Laundry can wait until nap time. For now, I am watching my hope for the future simply be kids in a time of no worry or difficulty.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Simply Ten in October
A list of simply ten. Ten things of the here and now to help live in the moment and be grateful for it.
Cool mornings.
Mums sitting on my patio.
A porch swing.
Sisters.
Big hats on little heads.
Children that dance.
Coffee that tastes good, even after being reheated a dozen times.
Golden leaves in morning sun.
A moment of quiet in all the noise.
The word alone, October.
Can you think of ten?
Cool mornings.
Mums sitting on my patio.
A porch swing.
Sisters.
Big hats on little heads.
Children that dance.
Coffee that tastes good, even after being reheated a dozen times.
Golden leaves in morning sun.
A moment of quiet in all the noise.
The word alone, October.
Can you think of ten?
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Giving compliments
As I was leaving class today and walking through the building, I kept seeing so many women I just wanted to compliment. A Hispanic woman that sits in front of me that is seriously beautiful, even when she has on zero make up and her hair in a ponytail. A beautiful African American girl a few rows over that has the most perfect complexion I've seen outside of photoshop and dresses so cute every single class. A woman that had great shoes, another girl with a warming smile, and so on. This mentality is one that was accidentally, purposely ingrained into myself. If that makes sense.
Several years ago, I had to go to Walmart for something during peak crazy holiday shopping hours. I was, obviously, NOT looking forward to it and almost changed my mind while sitting in my car, until I decided that I would go. I came up with the idea of going in for two things, what I wanted to buy (that I can't even remember now) and to compliment one woman. The purchase, I remember no details from, but the compliment I do. It was easy. I was checking out, and the girl checking me had her name tag on with one of the prettiest names, Ebony. I love it. I remember the way her eyes lit up at a random compliment from a stranger on a day that I'm certain she would have preferred not to be working.
As I left the store, I thought about how different my mentality had been the entire time I was in the store compared to what it would have been. It's hard to get annoyed with people when all you have on your mind is finding good in people. From then on, I would get out of my car with a number. I wanted to compliment 3 women...and not just to gain the number...it had to be a legitimate compliment that I truly meant. Eventually, it just became habit.
Such a small thing not only formed in me to see more good in people, but it also make me get out of my shell a little. I'm really not comfortable talking with strangers and I've never been a great encourager, but there's something that puts you and another person in a good mood when lifting them up.
My favorite part of it? Though I never had the purpose of complimenting women to rub off on my children, and in fact...I thought they were too young, it has. We can't go to a store without London complimenting every. single. woman. she sees. I love it. And she means it. It helps that the girl loves color, sparkly, and accessories, so she ooo's and ahh's over dresses, headbands, wedding rings, whatever.
This is such a random post, but it has been such a blessing in my life that I thought I may as well share. :)
Several years ago, I had to go to Walmart for something during peak crazy holiday shopping hours. I was, obviously, NOT looking forward to it and almost changed my mind while sitting in my car, until I decided that I would go. I came up with the idea of going in for two things, what I wanted to buy (that I can't even remember now) and to compliment one woman. The purchase, I remember no details from, but the compliment I do. It was easy. I was checking out, and the girl checking me had her name tag on with one of the prettiest names, Ebony. I love it. I remember the way her eyes lit up at a random compliment from a stranger on a day that I'm certain she would have preferred not to be working.
As I left the store, I thought about how different my mentality had been the entire time I was in the store compared to what it would have been. It's hard to get annoyed with people when all you have on your mind is finding good in people. From then on, I would get out of my car with a number. I wanted to compliment 3 women...and not just to gain the number...it had to be a legitimate compliment that I truly meant. Eventually, it just became habit.
Such a small thing not only formed in me to see more good in people, but it also make me get out of my shell a little. I'm really not comfortable talking with strangers and I've never been a great encourager, but there's something that puts you and another person in a good mood when lifting them up.
My favorite part of it? Though I never had the purpose of complimenting women to rub off on my children, and in fact...I thought they were too young, it has. We can't go to a store without London complimenting every. single. woman. she sees. I love it. And she means it. It helps that the girl loves color, sparkly, and accessories, so she ooo's and ahh's over dresses, headbands, wedding rings, whatever.
This is such a random post, but it has been such a blessing in my life that I thought I may as well share. :)
Sunday, September 25, 2011
motor mouth
Do you ever just get tired of yourself? I'm not even kidding, y'all. Lately, the thought keeps coming to mind, "...I have NO idea why people keep asking me to hang out! I have zero self control over my mouth." Lance and I both have this sincere urge to be that person in the room that hardly talks, but when they do, you listen because it's always good. He does very well in public with it, then talks up a storm at home. I'm the opposite. I seem to able to control my tongue and discern an attitude or situation before speaking at home, and...not so much in public. Part of it may be because at home, pretty much all my time is spent speaking to people that can either not understand what I'm saying, or isn't listening anyway.
Words are very important to me. I mean what I say, and I hold others to the same...but you would never know that by the amount of chatting away I do, whether harmless chit chat, or words I regret because of a lack of discernment in using my words. I don't have a lot of extra time for much, especially people not related to me, and I would love it if I spent those moments in lifting up others, glorifying my Lord, and finding out more about them and their needs than talking. For more than a year now, the Spirit has been showing me this in my life and I leave almost every single conversation with others thinking, "I wish so badly I'd just been quieter." My lack of self control has not been getting that much better, since I still don't hear the Spirit until I've left the conversation (hard to hear over your constant chatter haha), but I'm still determined to work on it. In fact, I'm rambling on this post because I've decided this will be a serious prayer focus from this point on. Let's hope for the sake of my friends, children, and His name, it'll be a fast transition ;).
This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says:
“In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in QUIETNESS and trust is your strength,
but you would have none of it.
Isaiah 30:15
Words are very important to me. I mean what I say, and I hold others to the same...but you would never know that by the amount of chatting away I do, whether harmless chit chat, or words I regret because of a lack of discernment in using my words. I don't have a lot of extra time for much, especially people not related to me, and I would love it if I spent those moments in lifting up others, glorifying my Lord, and finding out more about them and their needs than talking. For more than a year now, the Spirit has been showing me this in my life and I leave almost every single conversation with others thinking, "I wish so badly I'd just been quieter." My lack of self control has not been getting that much better, since I still don't hear the Spirit until I've left the conversation (hard to hear over your constant chatter haha), but I'm still determined to work on it. In fact, I'm rambling on this post because I've decided this will be a serious prayer focus from this point on. Let's hope for the sake of my friends, children, and His name, it'll be a fast transition ;).
This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says:
“In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in QUIETNESS and trust is your strength,
but you would have none of it.
Isaiah 30:15
Friday, August 5, 2011
{This Moment}
{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.
-Amanda Soule
Friday, July 15, 2011
{This Moment}
{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. -- Amanda Soule
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Truths of motherhood
I once read a quote on a blog about motherhood that said something along the lines of "Motherhood, to me, was born 11 years ago. I say that because we were born together." It was such a profound thought for me. So often, a situation arises where I attempt to ask myself what I would do or what the thought process would have been during the days before I became pregnant with London. Before I began sharing every space I have, including myself. Before I was born into a new person and role in life. And the truth is? I can't remember. I can't remember how I handled situations, or didn't handle them...I can't remember what my thought process would be in each situation. Perhaps because there wasn't one; perhaps because it's not worth remembering. Probably both.
For some reason, motherhood wasn't something that I immediately fit the mold to. If you knew me before hand, you know why ;). To me, it seems as though motherhood was a certain mold in the beginning. It was a selfless, giving, loving mold. and I overflowed in areas and fell short in other areas. Fortunately for us all, that mold is flexible and easy to customize. The proof of that is seen in how quickly some mothers seem to get it all together. Not everything is perfect in their lives. They may not be sleeping at night..but, they understand what comes with this mold and they're okay with that. I was not that person. Not that I'm completely that person now ;).
But I don't know that I ever realized that motherhood was customizable. I never knew that this can work for my home, but I could throw that out, tweak this, mess with that, until what we had was our normal, our home, and my version of motherhood. Then, I got a new mold when I became a mother of two. (Having two is way different than one, ya know) And all of a sudden, I saw the mold. I was forced to discover it's flexibility because we weren't gonna make it any other way. Where I believed I was failing was really me discovering what was best for my little family. Through those failures, I grew into my role and soul of motherhood. I looked, really looked into the eyes of the little souls that looked up at me. For the first time, I saw the needs of my children before they could even voice them (other than it's just time for a bottle.)
I do not have it all together. In fact, that idea is a complete lie and mothers should not believe that's something that we can truly achieve or you will feel like a failure every day. What you can achieve is love. The full knowledge of what has been placed in your hands and arms. To understand that what you may see as a failure is really motherhood growing pains. That we grow as a mother just as our children grow into beings. At the end of the day, that we said in what we did, what we said, what we spoke through our being is "you are loved. completely, entirely, and just as you are." In the throes of potty training and the baby stage where they have to be bathed after every. single. meal., I find it so difficult to remember these truths. I also know a few mommas in more difficult seasons than me, and hopefully, this can stand as a reminder to us both.
For some reason, motherhood wasn't something that I immediately fit the mold to. If you knew me before hand, you know why ;). To me, it seems as though motherhood was a certain mold in the beginning. It was a selfless, giving, loving mold. and I overflowed in areas and fell short in other areas. Fortunately for us all, that mold is flexible and easy to customize. The proof of that is seen in how quickly some mothers seem to get it all together. Not everything is perfect in their lives. They may not be sleeping at night..but, they understand what comes with this mold and they're okay with that. I was not that person. Not that I'm completely that person now ;).
But I don't know that I ever realized that motherhood was customizable. I never knew that this can work for my home, but I could throw that out, tweak this, mess with that, until what we had was our normal, our home, and my version of motherhood. Then, I got a new mold when I became a mother of two. (Having two is way different than one, ya know) And all of a sudden, I saw the mold. I was forced to discover it's flexibility because we weren't gonna make it any other way. Where I believed I was failing was really me discovering what was best for my little family. Through those failures, I grew into my role and soul of motherhood. I looked, really looked into the eyes of the little souls that looked up at me. For the first time, I saw the needs of my children before they could even voice them (other than it's just time for a bottle.)
I do not have it all together. In fact, that idea is a complete lie and mothers should not believe that's something that we can truly achieve or you will feel like a failure every day. What you can achieve is love. The full knowledge of what has been placed in your hands and arms. To understand that what you may see as a failure is really motherhood growing pains. That we grow as a mother just as our children grow into beings. At the end of the day, that we said in what we did, what we said, what we spoke through our being is "you are loved. completely, entirely, and just as you are." In the throes of potty training and the baby stage where they have to be bathed after every. single. meal., I find it so difficult to remember these truths. I also know a few mommas in more difficult seasons than me, and hopefully, this can stand as a reminder to us both.
Friday, June 24, 2011
{This Moment}
A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.
-Amanda Soule
-Amanda Soule
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Recovery
today, I'm recovering. just a minor operation, but it's left me on the couch a day or two.
I've never recovered before.
I've never taken the time,
even with two babies, I never even slowed
and this perspective is new to me.
the house is quiet, and I'm marvelling at the home we have.
the washing machine is running, without me.
a chubby baby is sleeping peacefully, without me.
our little home is still here.
I've noticed anew the large framed pictures on walls,
little notes and signs that were meant to serve as reminders
that I simply pass by each day,
busy with some new importance.
they were supposed to remind me of who I am, or at least want to be.
to remind me of people and faith,
of little faces behind the stickiness and dirt.
but I forgot anyway.
maybe I don't sit down enough?
but then, there's another thing to add to a to-do list.
maybe I never simply am.
yes, that's it, I believe.
I do.
I do laundry.
I do dishes.
I do diaper changes.
but..I am.
I am partner, not just wife.
I am friend, not just disciplinary.
I am daughter, not just mother.
pupil.
mistake maker.
strong.
loving.
I think this may be my new favorite seat in our home.
I've never recovered before.
I've never taken the time,
even with two babies, I never even slowed
and this perspective is new to me.
the house is quiet, and I'm marvelling at the home we have.
the washing machine is running, without me.
a chubby baby is sleeping peacefully, without me.
our little home is still here.
I've noticed anew the large framed pictures on walls,
little notes and signs that were meant to serve as reminders
that I simply pass by each day,
busy with some new importance.
they were supposed to remind me of who I am, or at least want to be.
to remind me of people and faith,
of little faces behind the stickiness and dirt.
but I forgot anyway.
maybe I don't sit down enough?
but then, there's another thing to add to a to-do list.
maybe I never simply am.
yes, that's it, I believe.
I do.
I do laundry.
I do dishes.
I do diaper changes.
but..I am.
I am partner, not just wife.
I am friend, not just disciplinary.
I am daughter, not just mother.
pupil.
mistake maker.
strong.
loving.
I think this may be my new favorite seat in our home.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
As iron sharpens iron
I've been mulling over some ponderings in my head as of late on the topic of motherhood. I follow a lot of blogs. many. many blogs. Most are craft blogs, and some are writings. There is one in particular of a mother with several children. Her blog makes you want to sit at her kitchen table in the morning and share a cup of coffee while kids run in and out and muffins bake. Her house seems calm, serene, but mostly, filled with love. A love of motherhood and nurturing that I want so badly that I can't even stand it. It is a rite of passage to her that has created her a new being that is more important than the one she had before. She soaks in time with her children like I soak in alone time, and I want what she has. Out of all my many blogs, she inspires me the most. Here's the kicker, this woman is the only mother that I follow that is not a Christian. oops. We are messing up here. Let me reiterate this again, out of more than a dozen women (all of which are amazing women, don't get me wrong!) the one that sharpens me and challenges me in more ways than she'd ever guess, does not have the Holy Spirit.
I've been trying to figure this out for weeks now, and I still do not have it figured out completely. Part of it, I think is the programming. I am not programmed to wake up with the one unspoken goal to achieve again and again each day of speaking "I love you" into my children in more ways than just verbally. I'm programmed to survive. I don't know when that programming began. I don't even know how long it lay dormant. I just know it's there.
Part is the words spoken into us. What do we hear when pregnant or a new mother? "If you're uncomfortable now, wait until labor." "Eh, by the time you're in labor, you won't care. You'll just be in so much pain that nothing will matter." "You think you don't get sleep now wait until you're wondering where they're at all night." Negatives. What about things like, "pregnancy is rough, but I loved the part of wondering what they'll look like, and who they would one day become." "Labor isn't exactly the most fun of your life, but it's the very beginning of a life. A time when God's promises and miracles are actively taking place, and His presence covers the room while waiting to speak NOW and your baby is born." "Teenage years can be crazy, but Proverbs 31 tells us a Godly woman looks to the future and smiles, not dreads. Imagine how beautiful your teenage daughter will be as she learns who she is during that time." Where are those comments? Young mothers need encouragement. We need Truth.
Then, of course, comes the question of, am I that mother? Do I speak those comments? Of course not. I'm the first kind of mother. I live in chaos. It's the name of my blog! But...God brings order from chaos. And...after all, I do have the Holy Spirit.
We juggle so much. We try to do it all and keep a billion priorities and then battle to keep our families at least high on the list. I don't know what my steps of action will be to shaping my soul will be yet, but they will come. Until then, I'll remain in thoughtful prayer. I wonder if I'm completely alone in this season, but that's okay if I am. I suppose pits are easier to leave when you don't have a roommate anyway. ;) Reprogramming will have to begin, of course. And the list of things being juggled will be cut down drastically. I'll make a serious effort even more to surround myself with women that sharpen me and that leave me when a little more love. Don't you love being around those people? The ones that you leave their house feeling a little more love for your husband and being a wife. A little more love for your children and your role as their mother. A little more love for your family and that you're a sister/daughter/aunt/niece. I've always fought to be around those people...I've just never asked myself if I was one of them.
...just some pondering...mulling around in my head. London's memory verse (probably for the summer) is Come and listen, all you who fear God, and I will tell you what He did for me. Psalm 66:16. This is now the new song of my heart. I want first for Him to make me the new creation and new mother, and then to pass that along to others, particularly those young mothers. If you got all the way to the end of this rambling, congrats :) I wish we could sit and have coffee while kids run and muffins bake, because if you're still reading, you're probably in this season too ;). haha
I've been trying to figure this out for weeks now, and I still do not have it figured out completely. Part of it, I think is the programming. I am not programmed to wake up with the one unspoken goal to achieve again and again each day of speaking "I love you" into my children in more ways than just verbally. I'm programmed to survive. I don't know when that programming began. I don't even know how long it lay dormant. I just know it's there.
Part is the words spoken into us. What do we hear when pregnant or a new mother? "If you're uncomfortable now, wait until labor." "Eh, by the time you're in labor, you won't care. You'll just be in so much pain that nothing will matter." "You think you don't get sleep now wait until you're wondering where they're at all night." Negatives. What about things like, "pregnancy is rough, but I loved the part of wondering what they'll look like, and who they would one day become." "Labor isn't exactly the most fun of your life, but it's the very beginning of a life. A time when God's promises and miracles are actively taking place, and His presence covers the room while waiting to speak NOW and your baby is born." "Teenage years can be crazy, but Proverbs 31 tells us a Godly woman looks to the future and smiles, not dreads. Imagine how beautiful your teenage daughter will be as she learns who she is during that time." Where are those comments? Young mothers need encouragement. We need Truth.
Then, of course, comes the question of, am I that mother? Do I speak those comments? Of course not. I'm the first kind of mother. I live in chaos. It's the name of my blog! But...God brings order from chaos. And...after all, I do have the Holy Spirit.
We juggle so much. We try to do it all and keep a billion priorities and then battle to keep our families at least high on the list. I don't know what my steps of action will be to shaping my soul will be yet, but they will come. Until then, I'll remain in thoughtful prayer. I wonder if I'm completely alone in this season, but that's okay if I am. I suppose pits are easier to leave when you don't have a roommate anyway. ;) Reprogramming will have to begin, of course. And the list of things being juggled will be cut down drastically. I'll make a serious effort even more to surround myself with women that sharpen me and that leave me when a little more love. Don't you love being around those people? The ones that you leave their house feeling a little more love for your husband and being a wife. A little more love for your children and your role as their mother. A little more love for your family and that you're a sister/daughter/aunt/niece. I've always fought to be around those people...I've just never asked myself if I was one of them.
...just some pondering...mulling around in my head. London's memory verse (probably for the summer) is Come and listen, all you who fear God, and I will tell you what He did for me. Psalm 66:16. This is now the new song of my heart. I want first for Him to make me the new creation and new mother, and then to pass that along to others, particularly those young mothers. If you got all the way to the end of this rambling, congrats :) I wish we could sit and have coffee while kids run and muffins bake, because if you're still reading, you're probably in this season too ;). haha
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Shout forth His Praise
This morning in church, the band played a song by Hillsong called With Everything. The lyrics say "with everything, with everything we will shout for Your Glory. with everything we will shout forth Your praise."
As I stood there singing along, I was thinking about that. One of the reasons that song is so powerful is because of it's motivating tune and lyrics. You feel while singing it with a room full of believers that you are truly part of a movement. As humans, we have this urge to be a part of something huge. We want to do something important and big. As I pondered the lyrics and this season of my life, I thought about what that looks like as a mother. I realized that my shouts for His Glory come in silent self control.
When my toddler throws something across the room and hits me, and I punish her with complete calm thinking only of guiding her and not revenge, it's the same as loud yells for the Glory of God. Shouting forth His praise looks more like putting shoes on the right feet and wiping runny noses.
I'm a very talkative person, so this may be the biggest struggle of this season of my life. I want so badly to be in the middle of life, up on current events, doing good for people all around me, and, honestly, being that person that people connect with being involved in a movement. My prayer is to remember after today and this week that my movement is the movement towards nap time, play time, bedtime. And the movement is just as big, just as huge, and just as glorifying. At times, it's easy for moms to feel like their job isn't as important in the long run as things other people are doing, but it is. Lisa Bevere talks about arrows and how arrows are designed to reach a battle the person shooting them may never actually enter. "Behold, children are a gift of the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of the warrior, so are the children of one's youth." Psalm 127:3-4 Our weapon at the moment is to raise up Godly disciples, aiming them in the direction where they're most needed. I feel more important already, don't you?
As I stood there singing along, I was thinking about that. One of the reasons that song is so powerful is because of it's motivating tune and lyrics. You feel while singing it with a room full of believers that you are truly part of a movement. As humans, we have this urge to be a part of something huge. We want to do something important and big. As I pondered the lyrics and this season of my life, I thought about what that looks like as a mother. I realized that my shouts for His Glory come in silent self control.
When my toddler throws something across the room and hits me, and I punish her with complete calm thinking only of guiding her and not revenge, it's the same as loud yells for the Glory of God. Shouting forth His praise looks more like putting shoes on the right feet and wiping runny noses.
I'm a very talkative person, so this may be the biggest struggle of this season of my life. I want so badly to be in the middle of life, up on current events, doing good for people all around me, and, honestly, being that person that people connect with being involved in a movement. My prayer is to remember after today and this week that my movement is the movement towards nap time, play time, bedtime. And the movement is just as big, just as huge, and just as glorifying. At times, it's easy for moms to feel like their job isn't as important in the long run as things other people are doing, but it is. Lisa Bevere talks about arrows and how arrows are designed to reach a battle the person shooting them may never actually enter. "Behold, children are a gift of the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of the warrior, so are the children of one's youth." Psalm 127:3-4 Our weapon at the moment is to raise up Godly disciples, aiming them in the direction where they're most needed. I feel more important already, don't you?
Saturday, April 30, 2011
The person I want to be
I've always heard the phrase, "I want to be the person my dog things I am." It's not really something someone actually says, more like a bumper sticker or magnet for the refrigerator. I've been reminded of it recently while I watch S grow and become less of a newborn baby and more of an active older baby. We joke here about how the dada sounds come out of babies mouth when they're happy and playing, while the mama sounds are their unhappy and fussy noises. She seems to believe those mama noises get attention faster, and they do.
When she's hungry or upset, or is stuck or hurting, she cries and looks me straight in the eye. L was never like that. There was always this desperation and, of course, dramatic flair to her that said, "I may never get out of this again. I will probably starve right here in my swing and die, never learning to walk." (meet her and you won't think that's exaggerated ;)) She cried out of a desperation for SOMEONE, anyone to help her. S looks to me. She has me figured out as her provider and protector. She never doubts, only getting extremely angry if I drag my feet in meeting her needs.
I want so badly to be the person she believes me to be. I want her to grow up always knowing me to be dependable and helpful, without being obtrusive. I want her to learn to walk with my guidance knowing the entire time that my arms are close if she falls. My daughters have given me higher standards to meet than I think I would have ever set for myself without them. I love how different they both are, and that they challenge me in completely different ways to be a better mother. It's so energizing and challenging to be believed in, even if that person wears a tiny little diaper that you have to change and, at times, slobbers on your favorite shirt.
When she's hungry or upset, or is stuck or hurting, she cries and looks me straight in the eye. L was never like that. There was always this desperation and, of course, dramatic flair to her that said, "I may never get out of this again. I will probably starve right here in my swing and die, never learning to walk." (meet her and you won't think that's exaggerated ;)) She cried out of a desperation for SOMEONE, anyone to help her. S looks to me. She has me figured out as her provider and protector. She never doubts, only getting extremely angry if I drag my feet in meeting her needs.
I want so badly to be the person she believes me to be. I want her to grow up always knowing me to be dependable and helpful, without being obtrusive. I want her to learn to walk with my guidance knowing the entire time that my arms are close if she falls. My daughters have given me higher standards to meet than I think I would have ever set for myself without them. I love how different they both are, and that they challenge me in completely different ways to be a better mother. It's so energizing and challenging to be believed in, even if that person wears a tiny little diaper that you have to change and, at times, slobbers on your favorite shirt.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Curtain Playhouse
Are any other moms out there ready for these spring rains, that do bring beautiful spring flowers, to pack up and move on? We're getting some cabin fever over here and looking for any way to entertain. One of my favorite rainy day secret weapons is a playhouse front I made out of some curtains.
I discovered some old curtains that I had from who knows where and decided to sew the two pieces together to make one big piece. I cut out a door and windows and lined them with ribbon. I think this is about the time that I completely gave up the sewing part and pulled out a hot glue gun. Then, the mailbox was added from some scrap fabric I had, a felt planter with some felt and pipe cleaner flowers were stuck in, and a doorbell from felt. A cute roof was added with fabric. I made curtains later (on one side because I procrastinate) and a little ribbon table with a felt cup and cupcake. It's such an easy project and I love that you can fold (or just wad it up) and throw it in a closet before company comes over. We slipped a shower curtain through the top and put it in the hallway in front of her room, or as you leave the living room, or wherever. Who doesn't love an automatic playhouse?! And because pretty much everything was done with a hot glue gun (and all of it could have been), anyone can do this project!
Hope this saves some of you on some rainy days!
I discovered some old curtains that I had from who knows where and decided to sew the two pieces together to make one big piece. I cut out a door and windows and lined them with ribbon. I think this is about the time that I completely gave up the sewing part and pulled out a hot glue gun. Then, the mailbox was added from some scrap fabric I had, a felt planter with some felt and pipe cleaner flowers were stuck in, and a doorbell from felt. A cute roof was added with fabric. I made curtains later (on one side because I procrastinate) and a little ribbon table with a felt cup and cupcake. It's such an easy project and I love that you can fold (or just wad it up) and throw it in a closet before company comes over. We slipped a shower curtain through the top and put it in the hallway in front of her room, or as you leave the living room, or wherever. Who doesn't love an automatic playhouse?! And because pretty much everything was done with a hot glue gun (and all of it could have been), anyone can do this project!
Hope this saves some of you on some rainy days!
Easter baskets :)
Easter is coming up (April 24th) and with that comes the search for an Easter basket. I decided this year that I would sort of cheat, and instead of buying one of the normal baskets that you either throw away or stick in some closet to use a couple of years or just end up throwing away in the end anyway, I bought a metal one. I got it for $4 at Hobby Lobby (it was half off on a sale day), and I got one for Story (that I haven't worked on yet) at the Salvation Army thrift store for $1! Not bad, right? With London's, it was already painted pink, which was a big help, but I got some ribbon that was on sale to use as well. I pulled out my hot glue gun and got to work. I first took some scrap fabric that I liked in pink to glue on the middle area (knowing I had the same material in purple to use on Story's) and then covered up the rest, as well as some mistakes, with the ribbon. I loved how it turned out, but then decided to add some ribbon wrapped around the handle and a matching bow tied on it for some more cuteness. The result? A seriously cute Easter basket for $5.50ish!
Here's my favorite part, on tin/metal, hot glue peels off! Which means, after Easter (or I'm tired of it) I'll peel off all the decorations and add new to either match their room and use the pail for something in there, or another Easter basket! AND, I'll just take that bow off and hot glue it to a clip, and TADA! London has a new bow. I love love love when things can be used again and not just wasted, and I have a feeling you do too. ;)
I just finished Story's too, so I can go out and buy that edible grass for them (it's the only safe way to go in this house) and fill them up! I mean...so the Easter bunny can fill them up!
Here's my favorite part, on tin/metal, hot glue peels off! Which means, after Easter (or I'm tired of it) I'll peel off all the decorations and add new to either match their room and use the pail for something in there, or another Easter basket! AND, I'll just take that bow off and hot glue it to a clip, and TADA! London has a new bow. I love love love when things can be used again and not just wasted, and I have a feeling you do too. ;)
I just finished Story's too, so I can go out and buy that edible grass for them (it's the only safe way to go in this house) and fill them up! I mean...so the Easter bunny can fill them up!
Entertainment Center turned Kitchen Set
I thought I'd share our version of the entertainment center turned kitchen set. She's been playing with it so much lately with the rain and loves it just as much as when she first got it! There are ideas online all over using an entertainment center, so we looked at several and tweaked our own until it was just right. We bought the entertainment center on Craigslist.com for $35 and already had a lot of the paint.
Our first job was to go and find the pieces we needed, such as the sink and oven/stove knobs. We got the faucet for $10 at the Surplus Warehouse store over on Caraway, and next went to Home Depot. They were so awesome and when we explained our project, they went all over the store looking for things to help us. We eventually ended up in the very back with the appliances that are being trashed, and the manager spent a crazy amount of time prying off an oven handle for our fridge door and gave us some knobs off an oven. Free!
Next, Lance built up the sink area and cut a hole. He painted the entire kitchen white, except for inside one cabinet (the oven) which he painted black. We slipped a metal mixing bowl that we already had down into it for the sink and glued the rim down all the way around. He put on the doors he had painted, and flipped the oven so it'd open down. (Side note, if you make this and make the oven so that it does open in the direction a normal oven opens, add a small chain from the door to the inside of the oven so that it catches. Otherwise, it drops and hits little feet)
The stove is simply a piece of wood painted white with black circles and glued on. The only other thing to do after all that was fill it up! I did spray paint a small square piece of wood with chalkboard paint and stapled ribbon on for a handle to hang at the end of the kitchen with her apron. We also added a few screw in hooks to hang up dishes and her oven mit.
It was sitting there all ready to go Christmas morning, and as soon as she saw it, she ran to it and immediately started doing dishes! Doing dishes? Where'd she get that? I would totally understand if she ran straight to it to put on a pot of coffee. ;)
All in all, Lance worked on this kitchen 10ish hours (most of that was trying to figure out how to do the next part without a guide) and we spent around $60. Less money than the neat plastic ones we liked so much and this one turned out SO much better!
Our first job was to go and find the pieces we needed, such as the sink and oven/stove knobs. We got the faucet for $10 at the Surplus Warehouse store over on Caraway, and next went to Home Depot. They were so awesome and when we explained our project, they went all over the store looking for things to help us. We eventually ended up in the very back with the appliances that are being trashed, and the manager spent a crazy amount of time prying off an oven handle for our fridge door and gave us some knobs off an oven. Free!
Next, Lance built up the sink area and cut a hole. He painted the entire kitchen white, except for inside one cabinet (the oven) which he painted black. We slipped a metal mixing bowl that we already had down into it for the sink and glued the rim down all the way around. He put on the doors he had painted, and flipped the oven so it'd open down. (Side note, if you make this and make the oven so that it does open in the direction a normal oven opens, add a small chain from the door to the inside of the oven so that it catches. Otherwise, it drops and hits little feet)
The stove is simply a piece of wood painted white with black circles and glued on. The only other thing to do after all that was fill it up! I did spray paint a small square piece of wood with chalkboard paint and stapled ribbon on for a handle to hang at the end of the kitchen with her apron. We also added a few screw in hooks to hang up dishes and her oven mit.
It was sitting there all ready to go Christmas morning, and as soon as she saw it, she ran to it and immediately started doing dishes! Doing dishes? Where'd she get that? I would totally understand if she ran straight to it to put on a pot of coffee. ;)
All in all, Lance worked on this kitchen 10ish hours (most of that was trying to figure out how to do the next part without a guide) and we spent around $60. Less money than the neat plastic ones we liked so much and this one turned out SO much better!
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Journey Campus
It's 11:30 pm, and I sit here in a dimly lit living room. Chaos (as usual) all around me in the form of a billion small toys, a princess table and chairs, countless articles of clothing, and more, but it's a quiet chaos. One that can wait, because tomorrow is the day. It is the beginning of the Journey Campus of Central Baptist outside of the comfort zone of Central's campus. Tomorrow, we spread our wings and officially leave the nest and I can't help but think about it. So, because tomorrow is the day, tonight is the night. It's not a night for cleaning, or time wasting, or whatever. It's a night for quiet rejoicing. Here. In my chaos. Rejoicing for what God has done, for the prayers that He has answered, obedience He has blessed, and the glory that He has and will show. I wonder if Central will have empty nest syndrome? Will they miss that loud music and guitar blaring in their gym and, at times, disrupting some life groups? Will they think often on the passionate people pushing for this movement and be inspired? and I wonder on the other people from the Journey tonight. Are there some up in prayer? I'm sure there are many working steadily on last minute details. and I feel very much like I imagine Olympic relay teams must feel like when that first challenging check mark is done, aware of the challenges and work ahead, but encouraged by the first hopeful victory after so long of training and work. Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. --Hebrews 12:1-2
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Magnetic Chalkboard
So, I'm still obsessed with spray paints of all sorts, particulary gray, chalkboard, and magnetic (yes! for those thinking, there's magnetic spray paint?). A project I did a few weeks ago mixed all of those together! I'm afraid I don't have any before pics...it was really just an ugly framed home decor painting. I think it was a barn...or a house or something. I remember it had a really light color wood frame and a HUGE maroon matte, the picture itself was like a 5X7 haha. So, I took the glass and picture out of the frame and sprayed the frame gray. Then, I sprayed the glass with the magnetic spray with 3 or 4 coatings. Next, I sprayed it with chalkboard spray with two coatings. Once it was dry, I "seasoned" the board by lightly coloring the whole thing with chalk and erasing it, then put it in the frame. It looked a little boring, PLUS, some horrible wind, mingled with the sprayer thing on the magnetic paint made some really bad places on the top middle of the board. sooo, I made some fabric flowers to cover up my mess and hot glued them over it :). They'll never know. Also, you could do one side with this idea, and the other side of the glass with the mirror spray (and yes! there's mirror spray lol). Then, if you wanted to go with an elegant look, you could switch it to the mirror, and switch it back with your decorating mood. :)
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Freedom Found
Last night before bed, I was reading through Ecclesiastes and had a sudden urge to jump over to Isaiah. My heart landed on chapter 52 and for the billionth time, my eyes and heart fell upon verses 1 and 2. I even had to spread their beautiful message to a few close friends of mine on Facebook and then decided to spread their beauty here as well.
The big secret behind this blog is that I'm a writer that, at times, masquerades as someone creative or (more often) someone that makes a pretty cute copy of something I've seen in other places. Each time I start to forget my love for words, I read God's Word and remember that my Father is also a poet. I'll prove it :). After speaking of the judgement that will come upon Israel, God uses this image to prophecy of their return to Him.
Awake, awake, O Zion, clothe yourself in strength. Put on your garments of splendor, O Jerusalem the Holy City. The uncircumcised and defiled will not enter you again. Shake off your dust, rise up, sit enthroned, O Jerusalem. Free yourself from the chains around your neck, O Captive Daughter of Zion. Isaiah 52:1-2
The image is this woman. She's dirty, she's lost all hope, the chains around her neck are uncomfortable, and she's been defiled. Yet, here comes a messenger. I imagine she would be curious about him and probably immediately distrust him thinking he was the same as her oppressors. Yet, here he comes with Good News and a message of hope and strength. He tells her to wake up! He tells her to clothe herself in strength and gives her the promise that her slavery is over and will not happen again. I also imagine pauses between his next commands, waiting for her to fully comprehend each. He gives her the power needed to break that chain she's been trying to find a way out of for who knows how long and calls her Daughter of Zion. Child of God. A heavenly princess and heir in her own right because of her holy heritage.
Each time I read this, images of women I've come across whether in person or through media fly through my head. I see girls sitting in college classrooms or celebrities on the cover of tabloids. Mothers in grocery stores with longer lists than their wallets can afford. I see little girls wanting to know the truth but no one telling them. And through all those, I want to be that messenger. I, selfishly, want to be the one that comes over the hill, looks into their distrustful eyes, and speaks joy and Truth to them. I want to wipe away the tears and say, "yes, indeed, it's true. I was once chained and alone too." Don't you? Shouldn't all Daughters of Zion want to find our sisters, wherever they may be imprisoned, and run to them. To throw them the key that will unlock the hurt forever? I do, and I'm so grateful for a God that gives women images to look to, knowing us intimately and, therefore, knowing we need it spelled out in ways that mean "me too" not just others.
The big secret behind this blog is that I'm a writer that, at times, masquerades as someone creative or (more often) someone that makes a pretty cute copy of something I've seen in other places. Each time I start to forget my love for words, I read God's Word and remember that my Father is also a poet. I'll prove it :). After speaking of the judgement that will come upon Israel, God uses this image to prophecy of their return to Him.
Awake, awake, O Zion, clothe yourself in strength. Put on your garments of splendor, O Jerusalem the Holy City. The uncircumcised and defiled will not enter you again. Shake off your dust, rise up, sit enthroned, O Jerusalem. Free yourself from the chains around your neck, O Captive Daughter of Zion. Isaiah 52:1-2
The image is this woman. She's dirty, she's lost all hope, the chains around her neck are uncomfortable, and she's been defiled. Yet, here comes a messenger. I imagine she would be curious about him and probably immediately distrust him thinking he was the same as her oppressors. Yet, here he comes with Good News and a message of hope and strength. He tells her to wake up! He tells her to clothe herself in strength and gives her the promise that her slavery is over and will not happen again. I also imagine pauses between his next commands, waiting for her to fully comprehend each. He gives her the power needed to break that chain she's been trying to find a way out of for who knows how long and calls her Daughter of Zion. Child of God. A heavenly princess and heir in her own right because of her holy heritage.
Each time I read this, images of women I've come across whether in person or through media fly through my head. I see girls sitting in college classrooms or celebrities on the cover of tabloids. Mothers in grocery stores with longer lists than their wallets can afford. I see little girls wanting to know the truth but no one telling them. And through all those, I want to be that messenger. I, selfishly, want to be the one that comes over the hill, looks into their distrustful eyes, and speaks joy and Truth to them. I want to wipe away the tears and say, "yes, indeed, it's true. I was once chained and alone too." Don't you? Shouldn't all Daughters of Zion want to find our sisters, wherever they may be imprisoned, and run to them. To throw them the key that will unlock the hurt forever? I do, and I'm so grateful for a God that gives women images to look to, knowing us intimately and, therefore, knowing we need it spelled out in ways that mean "me too" not just others.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Week recap
How was the week for everyone else? We had a couple days where S wasn't feeling great, Lance finished the swing set, L has forced our family outdoors at all times, and I had time to do some projects. We had a St Patty's dinner, lots of nights with Daddy home, and the first trip to walmart just me and the girls since November. Call me a coward, I don't care :). Next week is spring break! AND the weather is supposed to be beautiful. I hope we have mornings like today: S jumping happily in the jumperoo, L "cooking" in her kitchen, Lance reading some Bible, and I'm getting a quick chance to blog and drink coffee with chai creamer :).
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Girls' Room- glue gun crazy
I've recently decided that gray spray paint is on my top 10 list of absolute FAVORITE things ever. I love the color gray anyway, so when I can change something from blah or very average to sophisticated and cute with a little spray, I'm definitely going to do it! Here are a few things I've done in the last couple of days using an old shirt that wasn't maternity, but is the style that makes you look pregnant anyway....and who wants to look pregnant when you aren't? (especially if you've just spent 20 months out of the last 3 years pregnant :))
Said shirt. I took a sleeve off before I remembered to take a pic.
I drew a bird shape on a paper towel and then traced it onto the material. sewed together and stuffed.
the mobile with pretty flowers and the birds and a little butterfly perching on the branch :)
The pink shelf painted with a flower added. (don't mind the mobile I didn't move out of the way for a photo :/)
The ugly lamp
Lamp redone. I could never get the lighting good enough to really show how cute it is
Monday, March 14, 2011
The girls' room- Ceiling clouds
Sometime in the near future, we plan on switching the girls' room with the office. It's a bigger room and has two closets. Of course, when I say we, I mean me. Lance is more the manual labor behind my bright ideas, and honestly, the way I work usually stresses him out :).
The theme for the girls' new room will be a nature one, which means Lance's current beige office will have to be painted, and....London's currently EXTREMELY pink room needs to be painted as well. (For some reason, Lance isn't into the three shades of pink for his guitars and desk?)
Though nothing has really been started because I've been waiting until my spring break, I did have to start the ceiling decorations because the cardboard was going to get wet outside and was too huge to keep inside.
I took a long piece and cut out three clouds and nine raindrops. I spray painted the clouds a pretty blue and then dry brushed white on it to give it texture. The raindrops were painted a lighter blue. Then I looped fishing line through the drops and tied it and then used a needle to pierce it through the clouds and taped it on the top. we nailed them up, but if the ceiling wasn't that popcorn texture, thumb tacks wedged into the curves of the clouds would have worked.
So cute and really easy. I got the idea from the clouds around the light fixtures at the Memphis Children's Museum and decided to add further cuteness with the rain. Now I have to decide on a cute sun idea, since my friend Casey says it'd be depressing to make my kids live in rain nonstop without a sun. haha
I got the cardboard from the boxes our swing set came in
Sunday, March 13, 2011
A Marriage of Two
Over and over, I'm reminded in little ways how much I like convenience. I like to craft, but I'll hot glue anything that I can instead of sewing. I'll spray paint before actually pulling out a brush. I love mochas, but I would much prefer one someone else made me, even though I have the ability to make one at home. Part of it is our culture and time we live in. Yes, email is easier than mail. Yes, phone calls are easier than email. Yes, text is even easier than that phone call, and I can do them all on my phone. My camera is there, my internet is there, calendar...even my grocery list.
Part of it, also, is our human nature. The Bible repeatedly shows us the lives of people that want the easy way out of things, and though I didn't make the final cut to be in the Bible, I'm just as guilty as all those within its pages. I would love it if I could just be obedient without having to have my heart in the right place half the time. On my own, I'm very much a Pharisee. I could easily live a legalistic life, doing what's "right" but not always having the most pure motives. I would love it if I could simply read my Bible enough and stay magically in love with Jesus. But He asks for more. He wants my heart, my devotion, and love. I love that the Bible constantly compares our life with Christ to a marriage. It makes it much easier for me to understand. Lance would never be satisfied with a half hearted marriage and neither would I. He could come home and help with the girls, do some housework, provide for our family, but never have a real connection with me and I'd be devastated. He would never woo me or show me love and romance and devotion, and I'd step back and live in a haze. I'd work and work making things special at home so he'd want to be here, do little things so he knows I'm thinking of him, and go out of my way over and over, and the entire time, he does all the dutiful good husband things but our relationship is empty.
Spring is coming. God knows how fickle we are. He knows that though snow and ice is a marvel and an overcast sky has such beauty, that we get bored and annoyed. So, He brings spring. He shows us a world wide example of rebirth and resurrection. But, we would get tired of that too. The rains are too much and we get ready for something else (never mind that spring lasts less than a few months.) So, summer, beautiful colors, bright sunshine, and the animals all come out. Of course, that's too hot, and we don't have enough rain, and yada yada. He's effortlessly moving the universe to glorify Him and praise His name, not ours and so...we aren't that interested sometimes. How hard it is to remember we were not created first. That this world isn't about us...and that there is never just one person in a marriage. This conviction comes from the depths of my soul, but I hope maybe in me confessing my issues of selfishness and hatred of summer ;), that someone else can relate and find Him a little easier.
Part of it, also, is our human nature. The Bible repeatedly shows us the lives of people that want the easy way out of things, and though I didn't make the final cut to be in the Bible, I'm just as guilty as all those within its pages. I would love it if I could just be obedient without having to have my heart in the right place half the time. On my own, I'm very much a Pharisee. I could easily live a legalistic life, doing what's "right" but not always having the most pure motives. I would love it if I could simply read my Bible enough and stay magically in love with Jesus. But He asks for more. He wants my heart, my devotion, and love. I love that the Bible constantly compares our life with Christ to a marriage. It makes it much easier for me to understand. Lance would never be satisfied with a half hearted marriage and neither would I. He could come home and help with the girls, do some housework, provide for our family, but never have a real connection with me and I'd be devastated. He would never woo me or show me love and romance and devotion, and I'd step back and live in a haze. I'd work and work making things special at home so he'd want to be here, do little things so he knows I'm thinking of him, and go out of my way over and over, and the entire time, he does all the dutiful good husband things but our relationship is empty.
Spring is coming. God knows how fickle we are. He knows that though snow and ice is a marvel and an overcast sky has such beauty, that we get bored and annoyed. So, He brings spring. He shows us a world wide example of rebirth and resurrection. But, we would get tired of that too. The rains are too much and we get ready for something else (never mind that spring lasts less than a few months.) So, summer, beautiful colors, bright sunshine, and the animals all come out. Of course, that's too hot, and we don't have enough rain, and yada yada. He's effortlessly moving the universe to glorify Him and praise His name, not ours and so...we aren't that interested sometimes. How hard it is to remember we were not created first. That this world isn't about us...and that there is never just one person in a marriage. This conviction comes from the depths of my soul, but I hope maybe in me confessing my issues of selfishness and hatred of summer ;), that someone else can relate and find Him a little easier.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Generational Sin in the book of Kings
In the last few days I've read 1 and 2 Kings, and I've been amazed all over at the rich heritage of God's people. However, more interesting to me than that this time was the constant repetition of verses like this one "In the twenty-third year of Joash son of Ahaziah king of Judah, Jehoahaz son of Jehu became king of Israel in Samaria, and he reigned seventeen years. He did evil in the eyes of the LORD by following the sins of Jeroboam son of Nebat, which he had caused Israel to commit, and he did not turn away from them." 2 Kings 13:1-2. Jeroboam was King of Isreal and was mentioned this way in the description of many other reigns of new kings, including his own children and grandchildren.
The normal and confusing son of, son of parts of the some Bible books became a very real warning to me. I suddenly pictured something saying, "London Grace or Story Elizabeth Patterson (or even a granddaughter's name) became a mother at age whatever and was a mother the rest of her life. She did evil in the eyes of the Lord by following in the sins of Heather Patterson, her mother, which she caused her children to commit and passed it on to her children." Generational sin is a very difficult one to break because it is so deeply rooted in your upbringing. We've all grown up with things we either don't see at all because it's our norm or that we think we can't really fight for the same reason. Maybe it's impatience with our children, or selfish about our "me time," or even nagging a husband. We usually tuck it under the label of our personality or something else, and leave it left alone, but now is the time to break that generational bond. Imagine children growing up without being taught to gossip or slander other people or judge people that are different than us. Jesus says just to ask and He always tells us we'll do even greater than He because we have the Holy Spirit. It is not only possible, but a sure thing if we put our minds and faith towards it. I loved seeing the introduction of kinds like this, " He did what was right in the eyes of the LORD, just as his father Amaziah had done." 2 Kings 15:3 :)
I'd much rather people be able to say, London or Story became mothers and pleased the Lord just as their mother had done. Wouldn't you?
The normal and confusing son of, son of parts of the some Bible books became a very real warning to me. I suddenly pictured something saying, "London Grace or Story Elizabeth Patterson (or even a granddaughter's name) became a mother at age whatever and was a mother the rest of her life. She did evil in the eyes of the Lord by following in the sins of Heather Patterson, her mother, which she caused her children to commit and passed it on to her children." Generational sin is a very difficult one to break because it is so deeply rooted in your upbringing. We've all grown up with things we either don't see at all because it's our norm or that we think we can't really fight for the same reason. Maybe it's impatience with our children, or selfish about our "me time," or even nagging a husband. We usually tuck it under the label of our personality or something else, and leave it left alone, but now is the time to break that generational bond. Imagine children growing up without being taught to gossip or slander other people or judge people that are different than us. Jesus says just to ask and He always tells us we'll do even greater than He because we have the Holy Spirit. It is not only possible, but a sure thing if we put our minds and faith towards it. I loved seeing the introduction of kinds like this, " He did what was right in the eyes of the LORD, just as his father Amaziah had done." 2 Kings 15:3 :)
I'd much rather people be able to say, London or Story became mothers and pleased the Lord just as their mother had done. Wouldn't you?
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Kid's church bag
Hello all. I've decided to stop saying my life has been crazy lately, b/c it has yet to stop being crazy at all. But I've slowly grown to love that about it ;). Recently, I've been using a felt purse I made London just to play with as her church bag. It's perfect because I can hold a few diapers and her cup of water for class, without being huge. I love that it fits inside my purse or Story's diaper bag and she can carry it if she wants.
I used 3 and a half pieces of pink sparkly felt (who do you think picked that out?) and just sewed them together, glued a few hearts I cut out on and sewed some ribbon on for a handle and there ya go! Mostly, I wanted to sew felt to practice on my machine (that still intimidates me) b/c felt doesn't fight back like other fabrics. So I decided this past Sunday that Story needed a bag like this and then I may actually be able to put both inside my purse and pull them out for the nursery workers and in the end, actually carry a PURSE (like a normal woman!) to church! So I went to my felt collection last night to start! Unfortunately, I was all out of girly colors so it was brown or green. Also, recently, I've bypassed all sewing by using a hot glue gun, and I completely recommend that. :) Small projects I have time for, learning a new skill? Not so much. So, I hot glued some green felt together and looked around for a way to make it less boyish. I saw some pretty pink material I had bought last summer and glued it on the flap part. I also cut out petals to make flowers out of the material and the ribbon I used for the handle. annnddd tada! cute little tote for a redheaded Irish lassie, in about...30 minutes or less.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Day 10- Future & a sneaky Day 11
So, I'm very very late posting this today, so I hope anyone looking for the focus went to another blog and got it. :) Today was day 10! Did everyone make it? We were praying for the Future...a lovely thing to end with :). and the focus was,
"Our focus:
Protect him.
Bless his health.
Guard his mind.
Hold fast to his heart.
Go before him.
Be his counselor, his confidante, his help and his refuge.
Surround him with people who will speak life into him.
Be his shield and his firm foundation.
Light his way and give him hope"
and the reason I'm late in posting is....my big girl turned 2 today. We had pancakes in the shape of 2's and spent the day at the Children's Museum and then Red Robin for lunch. It was such a fun day, but I honestly can not believe she's two! so crazy...
So, the original TYMTJ has 10 days, but I'm throwing in a Day 11 tomorrow for those that want to join me in it. I know we had a job day, but Lance's job isn't with the church. He works in a music store, but because he spends hours at the church throughout the week practicing and playing and meeting, I decided last week that tomorrow would be focused on Lance's ministry. Our focus tomorrow, if you wish to accept it ;),
That God will give him a clear vision for the works He wants him to do
That God will mold him into a man constantly after His own heart
That He'll give and protect the precious fruits of the Spirit through the ups and downs of ministry life
That He'll show him how he can best balance his family and the plan God has for him and us.
"Our focus:
Protect him.
Bless his health.
Guard his mind.
Hold fast to his heart.
Go before him.
Be his counselor, his confidante, his help and his refuge.
Surround him with people who will speak life into him.
Be his shield and his firm foundation.
Light his way and give him hope"
and the reason I'm late in posting is....my big girl turned 2 today. We had pancakes in the shape of 2's and spent the day at the Children's Museum and then Red Robin for lunch. It was such a fun day, but I honestly can not believe she's two! so crazy...
So, the original TYMTJ has 10 days, but I'm throwing in a Day 11 tomorrow for those that want to join me in it. I know we had a job day, but Lance's job isn't with the church. He works in a music store, but because he spends hours at the church throughout the week practicing and playing and meeting, I decided last week that tomorrow would be focused on Lance's ministry. Our focus tomorrow, if you wish to accept it ;),
That God will give him a clear vision for the works He wants him to do
That God will mold him into a man constantly after His own heart
That He'll give and protect the precious fruits of the Spirit through the ups and downs of ministry life
That He'll show him how he can best balance his family and the plan God has for him and us.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Day 9- Jesus Time
Is there anyone else still praying along? We're into day 9 now, one day left of the original 10 day prayer focus (though I'm going to switch things up and throw in a surprise day 11 at the end, but that's a few days from now ;))
Today, we're praying for our mens' Jesus time. Here's the post and focus from The Ingram Gang blog.
"Spending time with the Lord. A statement, a question, a request....
Whether or not you know that your husband spends daily, quality time with the Lord or not, let's seek this for him. Now, don't you start judging your man. What does your time with the Lord look like? Yeah. That's what I thought.
I kid, I kid.
As we go through our day today, let us really just press into this topic for our man. Pray for your future husband, that God would do these things in his heart this very day and that God would develop discipline in him now, rather than later. May we all step closer to the Lord as we take this cry of our heart to Him.
Our focus:
Draw him into an intimate time of worship.
Call him away to a quiet place.
Drown out life.
Speak with clarity.
Reveal yourself.
Love him.
Give life to your Word.
Pour out revelation.
Grant him accountability in his journey of following Christ.
Shape him into a man of integrity, character and self-discipline."
Today, we're praying for our mens' Jesus time. Here's the post and focus from The Ingram Gang blog.
"Spending time with the Lord. A statement, a question, a request....
Whether or not you know that your husband spends daily, quality time with the Lord or not, let's seek this for him. Now, don't you start judging your man. What does your time with the Lord look like? Yeah. That's what I thought.
I kid, I kid.
As we go through our day today, let us really just press into this topic for our man. Pray for your future husband, that God would do these things in his heart this very day and that God would develop discipline in him now, rather than later. May we all step closer to the Lord as we take this cry of our heart to Him.
Our focus:
Draw him into an intimate time of worship.
Call him away to a quiet place.
Drown out life.
Speak with clarity.
Reveal yourself.
Love him.
Give life to your Word.
Pour out revelation.
Grant him accountability in his journey of following Christ.
Shape him into a man of integrity, character and self-discipline."
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
so many projects...
Is it just me or has the last two weeks been insane for everyone? London turns 2 Thursday (which is just insane in its own right), and the party is Saturday...which means things have to be finished for it tomorrow or Friday, since Thursday we'll be busy celebrating. The praying specifically for my husband thing has fallen at a very challenging time, but it's been a learning experience in making prayer a priority with a very very crazy life going on. I had big plans today that I would get so much accomplished before bedtime and maybe get to bed early! fail. I spent the morning removing all the pictures of my girls from facebook (a long story, but something I've been going back and forth on for months now.) Then ran errands with London, and then got home and didn't start on "projects" until late afternoon. Unfortunately for my procrastination, London has realized things she wants can be made for the most part, and I enjoy challenges. Not even halfway into working on her birthday banner, she requests a dryer for her dirty clothes. Not a lot of time, so all she got was this.
it was full of dirty clothes immediately, of course, and I hope she practices and can graduate to a real one soon. ;) finally, I started and finished the banner for London's party, and yes, it is up on my wall already b/c I'm afraid of little hands and the tearing of tulle.
future note, if someone makes this in the future...buy pink polk-a-dot paper...the painting step makes too many steps
the really ridiculous part is the list of projects I want to do that keeps building in my head....easter baskets anyone?
Day 8- His Past
So we've been praying for our men for more than a week now. Today, we're focusing on praying for his past. Here's the focus from the original blog we're borrowing from.
"Let's pray for our guys life, before today. We want life before today to be an encouragement for his present and his future. Though we cannot change the past, we can learn from it, grow through it and become mature because of it. When our man may not think to pray for his past, let us take that responsibility on ourselves. As we pray for his past, let us ask Jesus to reconcile it. May we also thank the Lord for developing him into the man he is today.
Our focus:
Seek forgiveness for yourself if there are any areas in his past that you have yet to forgive or have developed bitter roots.
Ask that he would have full forgiveness of himself for who he used to be.
Allow his past to be used to encourage him in his future.
May he learn from past triumphs, successes, failures, and sins.
Would he be able to use each part of who he is as a testimony to Christ and his faithfulness.
Pray that his past is not where his thoughts dwell.
Give him eyes to see that you are doing a new thing.
Reveal yourself faithful in the past, giving the promise of being faithful in the present and the hope of being faithful in the future."
"Let's pray for our guys life, before today. We want life before today to be an encouragement for his present and his future. Though we cannot change the past, we can learn from it, grow through it and become mature because of it. When our man may not think to pray for his past, let us take that responsibility on ourselves. As we pray for his past, let us ask Jesus to reconcile it. May we also thank the Lord for developing him into the man he is today.
Our focus:
Seek forgiveness for yourself if there are any areas in his past that you have yet to forgive or have developed bitter roots.
Ask that he would have full forgiveness of himself for who he used to be.
Allow his past to be used to encourage him in his future.
May he learn from past triumphs, successes, failures, and sins.
Would he be able to use each part of who he is as a testimony to Christ and his faithfulness.
Pray that his past is not where his thoughts dwell.
Give him eyes to see that you are doing a new thing.
Reveal yourself faithful in the past, giving the promise of being faithful in the present and the hope of being faithful in the future."
Monday, February 21, 2011
Crafts and Blog Revamp
We interupt your regular programming (which is currently Taking Your Man to Jesus) to say that my blog is getting a makeover and I've decided to add some crafts to it. I've never posted my crafts on my blog before, but I really want other moms to be encouraged at how easy it is to do extra fun and "crafty" things with your kids. I'm no super mom. I just got a sewing machine last christmas and just stopped wanting to shout profanities at the bobbin within the last few months, except for the occassional sewing rage here or there :). So, I suppose this post is only to warn those that may actually read My Life and Journey that it has not disappeared, but is now Tastes of Chaos. It seemed more fitting to my life :). whenever I learn to make tabs, it may even be a tad...organized. gasp! but don't worry, the actual posts shall be full to the brim of chaos, since my life is increasingly so, and I have decided to stop fighting it and embrace this season of life instead. So...birthday party this Saturday. ....I still have a paper mache Minnie Mouse head to make, centerpieces, and a couple more things. Pictures shall follow. LUCKILY, the cake is being taken care of by a pro, phew. Elizabeth Goad has taken on the challenge of a pink, white, and black cake and I can't wait to see how it turns out!! :) annddd....to eat it. Hope there are lots of you out there praying for your hubbies and their families today! AND, I was reminded through another blog post today by Nicole Arbuckle, that there may be Exhusbands that need prayers too...and even if you don't think they do, you or your children might ;). I'd love to hear any stories of peace or enlightenment coming from this that I haven't heard yet. I've been keeping up to date with one group of newly weds with one bride-to-be and I'm lovin' all the things they're saying :)
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Day 7-His Family
So today, (Monday. I'm posting the night before because of an assignement due date tomorrow) we're praying for the family of our men. This one is actually super easy for me, since I've been incredibly blessed in that aspect, but this one may take the cake in difficulty for some of you ladies. In fact, it may not have ever occurred to you before that you could pray for God to move the heart of the mother in law that can't stand you (or you equally enjoy the presence of ;)), or that you could ask God to rise up in your man's family a person that will be your cheerleader and friend (you may even be surprised who that could turn out to be). All in all, we have some amazing men, and we should be grateful for their families, whoever they may be.
Here's the post from The Ingram Gang. I hate to keep copying and pasting her entire posts, but it's just. so. good! Especially that last one, with the guys' night and all...right?
"Onto day seven...
I really think it would be meaningful to spend one day focused on your husband's family. If you are married, this is now your family as well, but these are the people that knew him and loved him long before you did.
I realize that families can be a very 'sticky' situation in some cases. I ask you to put opinions, disagreements and past hurts aside today. No matter the family circumstance, the Lord used family blessings and trials in your man's life to develop him into the guy you are so crazy about. As easy or difficult as it may be, spend today focused on your man's family, taking them before the Lord.
Our focus:
Thank Jesus for a family that brought such a wonderful man into the world.
Pray for mended family relationships (if needed).
Petition that Jesus would make himself real and known to his family; call each person out by name.
Ask for protection to surround his family members.
Pray for the health of family.
Give wisdom to family members.
Pray that your husband would be quick to honor his family.
Seek out wisdom so that both you, and your man may know and agree on what family legacies to pass along and what God desires to break and rebuild in your family"
Here's the post from The Ingram Gang. I hate to keep copying and pasting her entire posts, but it's just. so. good! Especially that last one, with the guys' night and all...right?
"Onto day seven...
I really think it would be meaningful to spend one day focused on your husband's family. If you are married, this is now your family as well, but these are the people that knew him and loved him long before you did.
I realize that families can be a very 'sticky' situation in some cases. I ask you to put opinions, disagreements and past hurts aside today. No matter the family circumstance, the Lord used family blessings and trials in your man's life to develop him into the guy you are so crazy about. As easy or difficult as it may be, spend today focused on your man's family, taking them before the Lord.
Our focus:
Thank Jesus for a family that brought such a wonderful man into the world.
Pray for mended family relationships (if needed).
Petition that Jesus would make himself real and known to his family; call each person out by name.
Ask for protection to surround his family members.
Pray for the health of family.
Give wisdom to family members.
Pray that your husband would be quick to honor his family.
Seek out wisdom so that both you, and your man may know and agree on what family legacies to pass along and what God desires to break and rebuild in your family"
Day 6- Friendship
Sundays are crazy for us, so I'm late posting today. If you're following along with these posts and praying, make sure you know the links to Ashley Ingram's blog and even my friend Meagan's blog b/c she's currently praying along with me and those could start your prayers off earlier than my posts ;).
Today's focus is our husbands' friends. Here's the post from the original blog.
"We have completed half of our ten-day, focused prayer time for you man. I just want to encourage you to stay strong in your commitment. I am great at starting tasks, but stink at finishing strong. I do not want this to happen to me, nor you. Really commit to disciplining yourself over the next few days to finish strong in your prayer journey.
Friendship. A word my man knows so, so well. I am ashamed to admit, but I am not always gun hoe when Brad wants to spend time with friends. I have been known to feel that they are competing for my quality time. I rarely take the time to acknowledge how beneficial Brad's quality friend-time can be, nor do I give thanks for the great friends that my husband has. Maybe some of you are on the opposite end of the spectrum, you desire for your husband to develop more friendships. If so, spend today requesting this from the Lord.
If your husband has many friends or few, let us be thankful for all of the men in his life whom he can be 'real' around. Be thankful if he returns home refreshed and a better husband and father after being around his friends.
Our focus:
Give him wisdom in choosing men worthy of honest friendship.
Thank Jesus for the friends that he has been given.
Be specific, thank Jesus for each friend that comes to mind. Call them out by name.
Ask that he would be vulnerable with his friends.
Pray that the vulnerability would grow to true accountability.
Develop him into an authentic, giving, approachable friend.
Increase integrity in friendships, making him worthy of great friends, in return.
Maybe he should get a guys night soon, away from the stresses of a job, the demands of a family, the requests of a wife and the expectations of those he leads. Just a thought..."
Today's focus is our husbands' friends. Here's the post from the original blog.
"We have completed half of our ten-day, focused prayer time for you man. I just want to encourage you to stay strong in your commitment. I am great at starting tasks, but stink at finishing strong. I do not want this to happen to me, nor you. Really commit to disciplining yourself over the next few days to finish strong in your prayer journey.
Friendship. A word my man knows so, so well. I am ashamed to admit, but I am not always gun hoe when Brad wants to spend time with friends. I have been known to feel that they are competing for my quality time. I rarely take the time to acknowledge how beneficial Brad's quality friend-time can be, nor do I give thanks for the great friends that my husband has. Maybe some of you are on the opposite end of the spectrum, you desire for your husband to develop more friendships. If so, spend today requesting this from the Lord.
If your husband has many friends or few, let us be thankful for all of the men in his life whom he can be 'real' around. Be thankful if he returns home refreshed and a better husband and father after being around his friends.
Our focus:
Give him wisdom in choosing men worthy of honest friendship.
Thank Jesus for the friends that he has been given.
Be specific, thank Jesus for each friend that comes to mind. Call them out by name.
Ask that he would be vulnerable with his friends.
Pray that the vulnerability would grow to true accountability.
Develop him into an authentic, giving, approachable friend.
Increase integrity in friendships, making him worthy of great friends, in return.
Maybe he should get a guys night soon, away from the stresses of a job, the demands of a family, the requests of a wife and the expectations of those he leads. Just a thought..."
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Day 5- As a father
I just seriously love this, and I have half a mind to just start over on Day 1 when this is over. There are so many times I can get annoyed with something with Lance or just wish he had handled it a tad differently or understood a little more that I needed it said in a different way. Why on Earth did it not occur to me to pray for that? I want my first reaction when I'm annoyed with my husband to be to go straight to my knees and not straight to another person. I figure, A) God will give me what I ask and He'll help my husband to understand me and love me in a way that I respond the most to, or B) He'll help me see that I was, in actuality, the one that was in the wrong, or C)both! ...I have a feeling it may be B and C many more times than it'll be A ;). So, today, Day 5 and we're praying for our men as daddies. Here's Ashley's blog post on it, but I'll copy and paste for those that are as lazy as me. (Confession: I will probably never click on any links or songs you have on a blog post.)
"If your man is already a daddy, this is a prayer that is probably constantly on your heart. I know that it is for me. If you do not yet have children, this is the perfect time to start praying for them, by praying for their daddy.
I love my husband ten-fold after watching him become a daddy. Amen?
Our Focus:
Teach him to train his children up in godliness.
May his time with his children be increased.
Grant him wisdom, patience and endless love.
Grow his children up to always bring joy to their daddy.
Prepare him to use 'life' as a teacher for his children.
Inspire him through his offspring.
May he always see the wonders of the Lord in his children."
"If your man is already a daddy, this is a prayer that is probably constantly on your heart. I know that it is for me. If you do not yet have children, this is the perfect time to start praying for them, by praying for their daddy.
I love my husband ten-fold after watching him become a daddy. Amen?
Our Focus:
Teach him to train his children up in godliness.
May his time with his children be increased.
Grant him wisdom, patience and endless love.
Grow his children up to always bring joy to their daddy.
Prepare him to use 'life' as a teacher for his children.
Inspire him through his offspring.
May he always see the wonders of the Lord in his children."
Friday, February 18, 2011
Day 4
Today we're praying for our men as husband's. I have lots of amazing things going on with this, but no time to post :(. Here's the copy from Ashley Ingram's blog.
"Today, let's focus on our husbands as just that, a husband. If you are not yet married, pray for your guy as he steps into the role of husband. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. Your husband, my husband, is the leader. Already. It's settled. You don't have to negotiate it or loose sleep over it, they are the head of the home. Christ appointed them to that role.
In thinking about praying for this role, it was hard for me to stripe this roll from the other rolls he fulfills. Yet, it is the one role that is solely created for me. Funny, isn't it?
Our focus:
Encourage him in his leadership of me, his wife.
Continue to develop him into a man that always makes marriage a priority
Give him a deep love for me, his spouse.
Give him new revelation into your heart for marriage.
Guard his eyes from Satan's attempts to steal his affection from me.
May he be a model of submission as he submits to the Lord.
Give him wisdom in leadership."
"Today, let's focus on our husbands as just that, a husband. If you are not yet married, pray for your guy as he steps into the role of husband. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. Your husband, my husband, is the leader. Already. It's settled. You don't have to negotiate it or loose sleep over it, they are the head of the home. Christ appointed them to that role.
In thinking about praying for this role, it was hard for me to stripe this roll from the other rolls he fulfills. Yet, it is the one role that is solely created for me. Funny, isn't it?
Our focus:
Encourage him in his leadership of me, his wife.
Continue to develop him into a man that always makes marriage a priority
Give him a deep love for me, his spouse.
Give him new revelation into your heart for marriage.
Guard his eyes from Satan's attempts to steal his affection from me.
May he be a model of submission as he submits to the Lord.
Give him wisdom in leadership."
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Day 3- The Job
Today is Day 3 and we're praying for our men and their jobs. Here's the post from The Ingram Gang blog.
"We all know our husband's jobs well, so spend some time today personalizing your prayer in the way your husband needs them most. Try to take yourself out of the prayers. Don't pray for what you would be pleased to see happen, but rather things that would bring growth to your dude.
Our focus:
May his workplace be/become a place where he has freedom show his creativity and use his gifts.
That he would gain encouragement, specifically today, from his co-workers.
That he would be effective.
A thankful heart for a job that provides.
Give clarity to any callings that the Lord may be placing in his heart.
Professional growth.
Take a few extra moments to thank Jesus for giving your husband a job. For those of you who have the joy of staying at home with your kids make sure you have your heart right. Rather than comparing your life to the lives of others or wishing you had more to "show" for your life or sulking in the career you used to have, give thanks for a man who works so hard so that you can be a full-time mommy.
Let us all make a noticeable effort today to show our gratitude for our husbands when he enters the doors of his home at five or six or seven o'clock in the evening.
One of the most applicable pieces of advice I have ever heard is this:
When your husband comes home from a long day at work, you and all of your children should go to the door to greet him, showing him how thankful you are that he has come home to you. A man who comes home with no one to greet him, feels as though no one notices his presence. If his presence is not noticed, he will start to pull away. Make a conscious effort to greet your husband today. And have your children or pets or make believe friends do the same thing. It will make him feel loved. That is our goal!"
"We all know our husband's jobs well, so spend some time today personalizing your prayer in the way your husband needs them most. Try to take yourself out of the prayers. Don't pray for what you would be pleased to see happen, but rather things that would bring growth to your dude.
Our focus:
May his workplace be/become a place where he has freedom show his creativity and use his gifts.
That he would gain encouragement, specifically today, from his co-workers.
That he would be effective.
A thankful heart for a job that provides.
Give clarity to any callings that the Lord may be placing in his heart.
Professional growth.
Take a few extra moments to thank Jesus for giving your husband a job. For those of you who have the joy of staying at home with your kids make sure you have your heart right. Rather than comparing your life to the lives of others or wishing you had more to "show" for your life or sulking in the career you used to have, give thanks for a man who works so hard so that you can be a full-time mommy.
Let us all make a noticeable effort today to show our gratitude for our husbands when he enters the doors of his home at five or six or seven o'clock in the evening.
One of the most applicable pieces of advice I have ever heard is this:
When your husband comes home from a long day at work, you and all of your children should go to the door to greet him, showing him how thankful you are that he has come home to you. A man who comes home with no one to greet him, feels as though no one notices his presence. If his presence is not noticed, he will start to pull away. Make a conscious effort to greet your husband today. And have your children or pets or make believe friends do the same thing. It will make him feel loved. That is our goal!"
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Day 2-Worship
So yesterday, we prayed for our men in leadership. I love hearing from other women in what God did or showed them through their prayers for their husbands in leadership. For me, I was amazed at the submissive heart that came yesterday as I prayed for him to lead. Also, I loved the constant communication and conversation between me and God. I would focus on one part of the list for awhile before moving on to the next and it kept me constantly before His throne. Anyone else enjoy yesterday?
Today, we're praying for our men's worship. Here's the part copied and pasted from Ashley Ingram's blog.
"Worship, as you know, is a matter of the heart. So, let's begin by praying for his heart. I know what it feels like to have a heavy or burdened or uneasy heart. Don't you? Let's come together against this for our guys.
Our focus:
Take the burdens from the heart of my husband.
Replace them with freedom.
In that freedom, begin to teach my husband what it truly means to worship You in spirit and in truth.
Come and meet my husband where he is.
Allow him to find rest in his home and in his current circumstances.
Begin to lay new words and encouragement on the heart of my husband.
Develop him into a man who is capable of being in a constant spirit of worship."
Today, we're praying for our men's worship. Here's the part copied and pasted from Ashley Ingram's blog.
"Worship, as you know, is a matter of the heart. So, let's begin by praying for his heart. I know what it feels like to have a heavy or burdened or uneasy heart. Don't you? Let's come together against this for our guys.
Our focus:
Take the burdens from the heart of my husband.
Replace them with freedom.
In that freedom, begin to teach my husband what it truly means to worship You in spirit and in truth.
Come and meet my husband where he is.
Allow him to find rest in his home and in his current circumstances.
Begin to lay new words and encouragement on the heart of my husband.
Develop him into a man who is capable of being in a constant spirit of worship."
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
We're doing Take Your Man to Jesus-again :)
Several days ago, a sweet friend of mine reminded me through a tweet of hers about a prayer journey from Ashley Ingram's blog and later posted on the Leading and Loving It's blog. It was called Take Your Man to Jesus and it was a time when she felt led to pray intensively for her husband for ten days. She posted a focused prayer list each day on her blog because of the number of people interested in praying along with her for their own husbands/boyfriends/future husbands they have yet to meet. After seeing the tweet, I went back to find the posts and really felt led to start it again and asked a few friends to join me in praying for their own men. Another dear friend gave me the idea to post the journey here for anyone else that may be interested in joining us. So, here we are in the beginning. I chose to start on a Tuesday purposefully because Day 2 is praying for your man and his worship, and Wednesday night is a worship service for our ministry.
So, today is Day 1 and we are praying for our men as leaders. I'll just copy and paste the last paragraph and list from Ashley's post about it. :)
"Let's begin by praying for our husbands as leaders.
All of our men are leaders in one way or another and most of them lead in multiple areas. They are all the leaders in our relationships and homes. Many of them lead multiple people in their place of work. And whether you realize it or not, many of your husband's friends look to your husband as a leader in their friendship. For those of you who have been in leadership roles yourselves, you know the burden and pressure that can come from such roles. Recognize that your husband is a leader to many people, even in situations that you may be unaware of. Let's ask the Lord to bless them in this role, to teach them through leadership and to use them to influence others.
Our focus:
Increase his wisdom in making decisions for those he leads.
God would give him confidence as a leader.
Call him to step out in his role and calling.
Give him influence in the lives of others.
That he would view his leadership as a way to lead as the Lord has lead him.
Teach him through leading others.
A teachable spirit.
Use the next twenty-four hours to focus on your husband's roles in leadership. Take him before the Lord, specifically as a leader."
So, today is Day 1 and we are praying for our men as leaders. I'll just copy and paste the last paragraph and list from Ashley's post about it. :)
"Let's begin by praying for our husbands as leaders.
All of our men are leaders in one way or another and most of them lead in multiple areas. They are all the leaders in our relationships and homes. Many of them lead multiple people in their place of work. And whether you realize it or not, many of your husband's friends look to your husband as a leader in their friendship. For those of you who have been in leadership roles yourselves, you know the burden and pressure that can come from such roles. Recognize that your husband is a leader to many people, even in situations that you may be unaware of. Let's ask the Lord to bless them in this role, to teach them through leadership and to use them to influence others.
Our focus:
Increase his wisdom in making decisions for those he leads.
God would give him confidence as a leader.
Call him to step out in his role and calling.
Give him influence in the lives of others.
That he would view his leadership as a way to lead as the Lord has lead him.
Teach him through leading others.
A teachable spirit.
Use the next twenty-four hours to focus on your husband's roles in leadership. Take him before the Lord, specifically as a leader."
Saturday, February 12, 2011
seek Me and live
Recently, I've been heavily examining my heart and the same lesson has been whispered softly into my heart, then blown loudly into my ears, and back to softly. He knows what it takes to get my attention ;). But that lesson has been that though He did intend on my season of heavy involvement in leadership and being a role model to other young women, that season is over and what is ahead of me is a season of heavy involvement in leading the hearts of two ladies in particular and being their role model. In this transition time, I've been quite confused and when trying to do both, I've lost patience and failed repeatedly, but that reason was also given to me: I can't do both. Not right now. A few writings from Oswald Chambers have struck my heart so powerfully that I've sat in shock, been taken aback, and re-surrendered to my calling. I'm daily poured out and exhausted for the sake of others, but I assure you, it's very very rarely a willing pouring or exhaustion.
It's so like God to give me a certain verse from one book at a time to show me one thing, and then a year later, give me another verse from a different book with the same topic to show me my next step. This time last year, when trying to decide how possible a busy life would even be with a new baby on the way and toddler, God drew me to Leviticus (yes, I'm Type A and find my well springs in books like Leviticus) to verse 5:11, "If, however, they cannot afford two doves or two young pigeons, they are to bring as an offering for their sin a tenth of an ephah of the finest flour for a sin offering. They must not put olive oil or incense on it, because it is a sin offering."
It had just been talking about offering a lamb or bull or other large and expensive animals, but then said this. And God spoke to my heart and acknowledged that in time and service, I would, indeed, have less to offer, but that in the end, it would be the same as those that had much to offer. Then, when I began to feel uncomfortable this last month or two, He drew me to several passages and most recently to Hosea 6. (Don't you just love Hosea?) In verse 6 from the New Living Translation, it says, "I want you to show love, not offer sacrifices. I want you to know Me, more than I want burnt offerings." sigh...I just love Him and how He knows just what to say :). I've been feeling like I've been offering up my children and their time while I serve others and not even making quality time with Him a priority and there, just as simple as that, He gives me my answer. There's nothing He doesn't know the answer to, and that, for this know it all girl, is such a refreshing and relieving thing. What can you take to Him? Through His word, you'll always always find what you're looking for. Amos 5:4 says, "This is what the Lord says to Israel, 'Seek me and live'" Live. Not drown. Not go crazy. Not hide in your room hoping when you come back out, things will magically be easier to deal with. Live.
It's so like God to give me a certain verse from one book at a time to show me one thing, and then a year later, give me another verse from a different book with the same topic to show me my next step. This time last year, when trying to decide how possible a busy life would even be with a new baby on the way and toddler, God drew me to Leviticus (yes, I'm Type A and find my well springs in books like Leviticus) to verse 5:11, "If, however, they cannot afford two doves or two young pigeons, they are to bring as an offering for their sin a tenth of an ephah of the finest flour for a sin offering. They must not put olive oil or incense on it, because it is a sin offering."
It had just been talking about offering a lamb or bull or other large and expensive animals, but then said this. And God spoke to my heart and acknowledged that in time and service, I would, indeed, have less to offer, but that in the end, it would be the same as those that had much to offer. Then, when I began to feel uncomfortable this last month or two, He drew me to several passages and most recently to Hosea 6. (Don't you just love Hosea?) In verse 6 from the New Living Translation, it says, "I want you to show love, not offer sacrifices. I want you to know Me, more than I want burnt offerings." sigh...I just love Him and how He knows just what to say :). I've been feeling like I've been offering up my children and their time while I serve others and not even making quality time with Him a priority and there, just as simple as that, He gives me my answer. There's nothing He doesn't know the answer to, and that, for this know it all girl, is such a refreshing and relieving thing. What can you take to Him? Through His word, you'll always always find what you're looking for. Amos 5:4 says, "This is what the Lord says to Israel, 'Seek me and live'" Live. Not drown. Not go crazy. Not hide in your room hoping when you come back out, things will magically be easier to deal with. Live.
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