Never before have I thought about learning to have a dependence on God. That is, never until I had a toddler. London has transformed into a full out toddler this past two weeks, and one thing I've learned is that toddlers don't officially become toddlers just because they can walk. It's the whole package. It's walking, reaching things that are higher, communication, fits, and INDEPENDENCE! Now that she can walk on her own and doesn't need me close incase she falls, she doesn't need me at all. (or so she thinks) I call to her, I show her where we're supposed to be going, I allow her as much independence as possible (when it's safe) but she wants to go another way, gets distracted, or just plain doesn't want to listen. My walk with God has never hit me so clearly in this area.
I never thought about the fact that as I learn and grow, I become more independent, but He must teach me dependence again. If I allowed London to continue on in her independence, not only would she be a danger to herself, but her growing and learning would stop. How can she learn to climb steps leading to a slide if someone's not there to teach her to step up one small one onto a patio without falling? It's never occurred to me before that once we hit this milestone, I'll need to continue pulling her back in over and over and keep her dependent on me. I'm still where she gets food and shelter, and will be until she can at least reach the counter haha. How true is this with God? He is where we find nourishment and rest, but it's not until we're at the end of our rope dying of malnourishment before we remember Who can feed us. At least that's how it is with me. I'm grateful that He is showing me little by little His path for me in a way I can most relate to: parenthood. Now when I look back with the wisdom of hindsight, I see those times when my life seemed frustrating or stressful. I remember my reactions to those times that now very much resemble toddler tantrums, and now I can see where God was reeling me in from hurting myself or just running away from Him and I think of how much harder His job is than mine haha. I am must more stubborn and strong-willed than my toddler (so far) and I'm glad He's always leading me.
He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake. Psalm 23:3
