What's in a name?

So, I'm terrible at naming people. I, personally, think we ended up with some really great baby names for our girls, but it wasn't easy. Even when they just kind of came to me and I absolutely loved them, I was terrified to seal the final say on it. A name is so much of who a person is...and did I really want a child to be London Grace or Story Elizabeth forever? What if they hated it? Would they thank me later for them, or pretend their name is something more cute and fun...(I was always tiffany while pretending, but that had more to do with a friend being named Tiffany :))

The first names are just names I liked. London I thought was pretty and can you imagine her with any other name now? Story was the same. I'm an English major and story has always been a word that has so much more meaning than just words strung together. Their middle names, however, were different. Grace. A word that gives hope. A transcending hope that wipes away tears and gives a heartbeat back to a heart that was dead inside and empty. Elizabeth. A woman of God. Remembered by God in old age, just as Sarah. Chosen to carry the baby that would grow up and announce the coming of the Messiah! The mother and nurturer of the one that made the paths clear for the Rescuer of the world. The One that would bring Grace. Elizabeth was the one that housed a terrified young girl that came to her at a time when her world was flipped upside down when she was chosen as the mother of our Lord and was carrying within her Hope. Elizabeth was a friend and mentor.

Our girls are quite different, as is to be expected. Earlier, Story was running from one destructive activity to the next and after the billionth time of telling her "no." I asked her if we should change her middle name to it, but I was stopped mid-sentence. No, we should not. I do not want my child to grow up and become that. I want her to grow and become Elizabeth. I want her to focus on helping others and have a joy in the Lord that only comes from something deep and personal with Him. Grace. I don't want London to find her identity in clothes and sparkly things. I want her to be a woman that can barely contain her joy and love for others because she lives with the knowledge that she's given Grace. I want her to be forgiven, but to forgive others. I want those things for both of them, and I want them to grow up friends that will sharpen each other as iron sharpens iron. I'm grateful for that constant reminder of my end goal on days where I cover cut wall stickers with packing tape to keep fingers away or wash the same dishes a billion times. THIS is why it stresses me out to name people! It's not about now, it's not even completely about later. It's about the in between.

And do note, this is not a pregnancy announcement. Just sharing about today's thoughts...somehow, if I mention anything about children, at least one person will ALWAYS think I'm pregnant, but I'm not ;) lol

Order from Chaos

Any mother could tell you the different things they love about each of their children. It's not that you love any child more than another, it's just different. London Grace is special. She's sweet and compassionate. She's what I hope to be when I'm refined by the Lord. She cares and is grateful, truly. Story is crazy. I'm not even kidding. She is joy in the purest sense of the word. She makes me laugh until I cry and keeps me and London both from ever taking ourselves too seriously.

Other than her amazing compassion, London is very much me. We care too much about things we shouldn't, and I hope so badly to conquer some of the sins we both struggle with before she's older so that I can be a testimony to her for what the Holy Spirit can do.

Story is Lance. Dead out. It's not just the fair skin and red hair. They're crazy. I'm telling you. Most people don't get to see my hunny in his purest form, but the boy is crazy funny. He's goofy and sweet and passive. I love both of my girls, oh so very much, but one of the many reasons I love Story is because when I look at her, I see a man I love more than any other person on this Earth. I see all his good and bad characteristics all balled up into a little blue eyed girl.

On the same note, I have a friend/mentor that I love love love to go visit. She sharpens me, and I always leave her loving my kids and husband a little more than when I got there. The last time I visited her, I left trying to put my finger on just what I loved so much about her. I got home and was greeted by silly little Story and it hit me. My friend reminds me so much of the Father that I love so very much. We are all image bearers of God, but some people resemble Him in their actions much better than the rest of us. I leave her with a smile thinking, I love Him so much. I want so badly to be that way. I wish so badly that I could hide myself in Him so that any positive trait someone did find, they would automatically attribute it to Him.

I've been wanting to rename my blog for awhile now. Tastes of Chaos is still a bit fitting for our crazy home, but not for the heart of it. In this current season, I no longer want to accept the chaos in our lives. God makes order from chaos and He can do that in my life as well. As I reread the last few posts of mine, I feel like that that topic seems to be the very heart of my writing now, and therefore, a fitting title. All that to say, my blog has a new title and I hope that my life experiences can continue to grow to fit the name :).