Band Wife

I'm a band wife. Worship band wife, to be precise. I married a guitarist, and while many girls dream of a man that can play and instrument for them and sing them a song, they normally don't quite understand what comes along with that package.

A band practices...hopefully. Lance practices every Thursday night, like tonight, and on his own through the week. He's gone early Sunday morning to run through the set once more. Yep, I know the set list usually by heart by the time I'm actually in the service.

There was a time in my marriage when I thought this was a sacrifice. My sacrifice...for God? for the church? I'm not really sure. I just knew I was sacrificing! I would be home alone with a toddler and pregnant or two little ones, doing the routine myself. Even tonight, we picked up the house, ate dinner, brushed teeth, prayed and got into bed with just us girls. I'm currently sitting here instead of taking a relaxing bath because the littlest little one is being especially lovely and yelling while throwing every single thing out of her crib, only to yell wanting it all back in.

I used to think it was sacrifice. Some months ago, I realized that I no longer think of it as that. I think it was when another person at church thanked me for letting my husband serve! It really is such a kind and thoughtful gesture to make when people remember me and give me credit for arriving with not only both children but both their church bags AND my coffee. That's a Sunday miracle each week ;). But, no, not a sacrifice.

There is a difference between being selfish, being selfless, and just doing what's right. Just doing what God has asked and called us to do. It looks different in all families. In my family, it looks like girl time on Thursdays, no male to witness how many outfits we go through on Sunday mornings, and me serving God in the way He called me to do in this season, through my girls. I see sleepy faces and twirling in church dresses as they're just put on. I have long conversations with my almost 3 year old on the way each Sunday about class and their topic and God and His love and Dora...yeah, they both love animals.

There are women who are raising up children on their own because fathers not only refuse to follow God, they won't follow what is simply Right. Good. And me? On Thursday nights, I am alone in the hugs, kisses, giggles, running into walls because they won't slow down racing to grab the children's bible to read, and kissing boo boos. Alone because my husband is blessed enough to love guitar and be allowed to worship through it.

I wonder what other "sacrifices" are in my life that I should be reevaluating? The littlest one is quiet now, so I shall ponder it while relaxing.