We just celebrated Story's dedication this past Sunday night. There was homework that went along with it to have prepared, and we were to share one part with our family at our table. It was the easiest part for me. We were to imagine who we want our child to be in 18 years. Proverbs says that children are like arrows. Arrows are something you shoot into a battle you may never even be in. You aim straight and true. The homework was not difficult because I've already thought about where to aim my girls. I'm constantly readjusting and leaning to aim as they become different in my hands. They become stronger and less likely to break when shot out as they grow. They become curved a bit as I learn more and more about their unique personalities, which causes me to lean right or left opposite them, to ensure they're still aiming true. They're still young, I'll hand you that. 18 months and 3 years is a tender age. But, I don't know when I'll have to shoot and let go. So, I stay aimed.
This Sunday was just a reminder of that. A reminder that these are my children, but they're not. That this is our home, but it's not. That I have a plan for them, but I don't.
Motherhood carries so much responsibility. So many worries. So much stress. How wonderful it is at the end of the day to let go and know that He is in charge and not I. Not I, with my grand plans of who my children will turn out to be. Not I with my limited knowledge. Not I, with my mortal shortcomings and failures. After all, it wasn't I that planned these children in the first place, so He showed from the beginning how much He knows better than me.
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