Recently, I've been heavily examining my heart and the same lesson has been whispered softly into my heart, then blown loudly into my ears, and back to softly. He knows what it takes to get my attention ;). But that lesson has been that though He did intend on my season of heavy involvement in leadership and being a role model to other young women, that season is over and what is ahead of me is a season of heavy involvement in leading the hearts of two ladies in particular and being their role model. In this transition time, I've been quite confused and when trying to do both, I've lost patience and failed repeatedly, but that reason was also given to me: I can't do both. Not right now. A few writings from Oswald Chambers have struck my heart so powerfully that I've sat in shock, been taken aback, and re-surrendered to my calling. I'm daily poured out and exhausted for the sake of others, but I assure you, it's very very rarely a willing pouring or exhaustion.
It's so like God to give me a certain verse from one book at a time to show me one thing, and then a year later, give me another verse from a different book with the same topic to show me my next step. This time last year, when trying to decide how possible a busy life would even be with a new baby on the way and toddler, God drew me to Leviticus (yes, I'm Type A and find my well springs in books like Leviticus) to verse 5:11, "If, however, they cannot afford two doves or two young pigeons, they are to bring as an offering for their sin a tenth of an ephah of the finest flour for a sin offering. They must not put olive oil or incense on it, because it is a sin offering."
It had just been talking about offering a lamb or bull or other large and expensive animals, but then said this. And God spoke to my heart and acknowledged that in time and service, I would, indeed, have less to offer, but that in the end, it would be the same as those that had much to offer. Then, when I began to feel uncomfortable this last month or two, He drew me to several passages and most recently to Hosea 6. (Don't you just love Hosea?) In verse 6 from the New Living Translation, it says, "I want you to show love, not offer sacrifices. I want you to know Me, more than I want burnt offerings." sigh...I just love Him and how He knows just what to say :). I've been feeling like I've been offering up my children and their time while I serve others and not even making quality time with Him a priority and there, just as simple as that, He gives me my answer. There's nothing He doesn't know the answer to, and that, for this know it all girl, is such a refreshing and relieving thing. What can you take to Him? Through His word, you'll always always find what you're looking for. Amos 5:4 says, "This is what the Lord says to Israel, 'Seek me and live'" Live. Not drown. Not go crazy. Not hide in your room hoping when you come back out, things will magically be easier to deal with. Live.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Learning lessons through sickness
The last week at my house has been...crazy. The stomach bug took over, first with London, then Story, and lastly, Lance. Luckily, (or unfortunately, however I choose to look at it at the moment ;)) I didn't catch it. (I have an overactive immune system it seems..) So, I was nurse. The problem with London getting it first meant that she was down and calm and sick for several days, and then, all that energy seemed to burst out when she got better. This meant that as a tiny, pitiful 4.5 month old got very very sick, the not quite 2 year old was bouncing off walls and acting out in every way possible to get some attention back on herself (don't really blame her.) Then, Lance got sick. Honestly, two and a half days of Lance home with no meetings, work, or practice for either one of us? Sick or not, I'll take it!
So today, he was better, but the virus still clinging a tiny bit, so he stayed home to save innocent bystanders from germs. By 4 pm, he sat down in the recliner and announced he was exhausted. I remember his words perfectly, "Your job is exhausting! I have this overwhelming urge to just SIT!" :) precisely, my dear. and there were two of us and two of them. We were playing man to man! I usually play zone defense with him gone. Not that I don't love my children or being a (kind of) stay at home mom; I do, but seeing him collapse by 4 pm with a full evening ahead of us made me fully realize where my own difficulties lay.
By the time the house is picked up, dinner is served and cleaned up, the kids are FINALLY in bed (and asleep), I just want to fall into a pile of mush and do nothing at all productive. I fight the urge to mindlessly scroll through facebook or twitter or blogs. I don't want to think, I don't want to do homework (which, I'm behind on now that I think about it), and I definitely never WANT to pray or read my Bible. Honestly, I want to be entertained. I'm taking part in Beth Moore's LPM Siesta Scripture Memory (you can still join too!) and my latest verse was "But she who gives herself in wanton pleasure is dead, even while she lives." 1 Tim 5:6 NASB.
It's so easy to get caught up in entertainment. A show, a website, a phone. You sit down because you're exhausted, mentally or physically (or both!) and before you know it, you're going to bed just as empty and exhausted as when you sat down. Through this week, I've learned a little more on that lesson I've been trying to learn: I can sit down and do nothing but be slightly (and if we're talking about facebook, even less than slightly) entertained and then go to bed with zero spiritual fruits and a bad attitude, then wake up in the exact same state. OR, I could sit down to talk with my creator. The One that knows me in and out and knows how far I've been pushed that day. I can listen as He whispers to me and reminds me of His promises for me and my marriage and my children. I can readjust my mind and heart, and then go to bed with so much love in me for Him and Lance and the girls that it's spilling over and I can't wait until tomorrow instead of dreading it. Remember the proverbs 31 woman? "Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future." Proverbs 31:25
I want so badly to smile toward the future, knowing that I will handle it with strength and dignity with Him as my strength. I don't want to think tomorrow will be crazy because of sickness or meetings or Lance gone a lot and dread it. I don't want to think, "they'll be 15 and 16 on day and may be fighting every second." I want to look forward to watching them blossom into beautiful women of God, raised knowing the love of the One that made them beautiful. Don't you?
So today, he was better, but the virus still clinging a tiny bit, so he stayed home to save innocent bystanders from germs. By 4 pm, he sat down in the recliner and announced he was exhausted. I remember his words perfectly, "Your job is exhausting! I have this overwhelming urge to just SIT!" :) precisely, my dear. and there were two of us and two of them. We were playing man to man! I usually play zone defense with him gone. Not that I don't love my children or being a (kind of) stay at home mom; I do, but seeing him collapse by 4 pm with a full evening ahead of us made me fully realize where my own difficulties lay.
By the time the house is picked up, dinner is served and cleaned up, the kids are FINALLY in bed (and asleep), I just want to fall into a pile of mush and do nothing at all productive. I fight the urge to mindlessly scroll through facebook or twitter or blogs. I don't want to think, I don't want to do homework (which, I'm behind on now that I think about it), and I definitely never WANT to pray or read my Bible. Honestly, I want to be entertained. I'm taking part in Beth Moore's LPM Siesta Scripture Memory (you can still join too!) and my latest verse was "But she who gives herself in wanton pleasure is dead, even while she lives." 1 Tim 5:6 NASB.
It's so easy to get caught up in entertainment. A show, a website, a phone. You sit down because you're exhausted, mentally or physically (or both!) and before you know it, you're going to bed just as empty and exhausted as when you sat down. Through this week, I've learned a little more on that lesson I've been trying to learn: I can sit down and do nothing but be slightly (and if we're talking about facebook, even less than slightly) entertained and then go to bed with zero spiritual fruits and a bad attitude, then wake up in the exact same state. OR, I could sit down to talk with my creator. The One that knows me in and out and knows how far I've been pushed that day. I can listen as He whispers to me and reminds me of His promises for me and my marriage and my children. I can readjust my mind and heart, and then go to bed with so much love in me for Him and Lance and the girls that it's spilling over and I can't wait until tomorrow instead of dreading it. Remember the proverbs 31 woman? "Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future." Proverbs 31:25
I want so badly to smile toward the future, knowing that I will handle it with strength and dignity with Him as my strength. I don't want to think tomorrow will be crazy because of sickness or meetings or Lance gone a lot and dread it. I don't want to think, "they'll be 15 and 16 on day and may be fighting every second." I want to look forward to watching them blossom into beautiful women of God, raised knowing the love of the One that made them beautiful. Don't you?
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Materialism
So, today's thoughts come (in a round about way) from a veggie tales show. I'm not usually a fan of veggie tales...great message for my toddler, but it's way more annoying than I remember it being. The one that was on in the background today was called Madame Blueberry. She was blue because she saw all the stuff everyone else had and thought she'd be happy if she had all the things they did. This got me thinking about materialism. I think I've always mentally tuned out sermons or books or whatever about materialism. After all...I'm responsible with my money. right? Something that is on sale for $20, even if 99% off, is still, in my opinion, several meals for my family or a date night for me and Lance.
Then I began thinking about the possibilities if EVERYTHING you could buy was less than a dollar. What if a new car was $.50 (random, but when did society do away with the cents sign? when things were no longer costing cents only?) What about all the guitars? A house? Cute new boots? What about things for my kids? oh man....a HUGE swingset? A beautiful wooden painted playhouse outside? When I think of it like that, I cringe at the possibilities. Even if I bought one for myself, and 20 for less fortunate people, where does that leave me? I don't know when I began seperating materialism from money responsibility, but it was obviously a mistake. I don't know that London even enjoyed that particular epidsode, haha, but I sat in tears convicted of my heart. Don't even get me started on Sweet Pea Beauty episode....I bawled like a baby about the King seeing us as beautiful, but that's another day. Now, I have to get back to "blessing" my house and, unfortunately, I'm to the laundry pile part of that blessing. sigh... :)
another verse to add to the fridge now...lol
My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music.
Psalm 57:7
Then I began thinking about the possibilities if EVERYTHING you could buy was less than a dollar. What if a new car was $.50 (random, but when did society do away with the cents sign? when things were no longer costing cents only?) What about all the guitars? A house? Cute new boots? What about things for my kids? oh man....a HUGE swingset? A beautiful wooden painted playhouse outside? When I think of it like that, I cringe at the possibilities. Even if I bought one for myself, and 20 for less fortunate people, where does that leave me? I don't know when I began seperating materialism from money responsibility, but it was obviously a mistake. I don't know that London even enjoyed that particular epidsode, haha, but I sat in tears convicted of my heart. Don't even get me started on Sweet Pea Beauty episode....I bawled like a baby about the King seeing us as beautiful, but that's another day. Now, I have to get back to "blessing" my house and, unfortunately, I'm to the laundry pile part of that blessing. sigh... :)
another verse to add to the fridge now...lol
My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music.
Psalm 57:7
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Smudges on the window
Happy New Year! :) Today was such a crazy crazy day. It was the last Sunday we are at Central's main campus, since the Journey Campus launches next Sunday! Eeeee! I was so excited about today, plus, I was going to put London in an adorable dress she still hasn't been able to wear that I bought on clearance LAST January for this winter. Alas, after an alarm clock fail, making it to church alone with two sleepy girls just wasn't a possibility. So I thought, ahh, thank you technology! I'll live stream our service! No dice. After Story was finally quiet enough for me to hear something, I sat down with a cup of coffee and my laptop, and the entire screen freezes and the stream goes out. Not to be beaten, I pull up the Passion website to live stream their Session 1 that was currently happening (www.passion2011.com). 22,000 students and leaders there, and even more than that are watching online, sooo...it wouldn't work either. The rest of the day continued in these ridiculous series of unfortunate events until I was successfully beaten to a pile of mush. Then it hit me...
It's like smudges on a window. No, follow me here. It's well established that I am, indeed, a Type A personality. I enjoy long walks around a neatly lined and organized track, knowing exactly what goes into my food, and crystal clean windows. This, to an extent, is my God-given personality and is the instrument He chooses to use for His purposes (when I'm not being all about me-ish). However, I abuse this gift and go completely Martha when I should be Mary. (Luke 10:38-42) I am getting much better (which I'm sure any frequent reader is glad of, since it tends to be the meat of my blog posts lately. I promise to be more entertaining in the next season of my life ;)) but it's my native language (the Martha thing) and even when I become fluent in Mary, if I'm not speaking and living only in Mary, Martha jumps back in quite often. In this Martha time, smudges on windows are just horrible. Not just a fingerprint, give me a break, I'm not that crazy ;). It's the smudges with milk/cereal/unknown food/etc in it that dries and is visible from no matter where you're looking from. I've found myself glancing out the window and seeing these smears all over, stopping whatever is going on, going to get some weapon to fight the dirty mess, and then going back to my day. Not once in this time did I notice what color the leaves were, or if there was a bird on my porch. I was too busy seeing the dirt.
There are days, like today, where it's almost impossible to see the beauty in my life because of all the crazy, "dirty" smudges obstructing my view. I want to battle them, one by one, all the while forgetting the reason I want it to be clean in the first place: to enjoy the life God has given to me. Martha complained to Jesus that Mary wasn't helping her, which, I'm afraid I would have been pretty annoyed too. It's martha's house, her sis has come over perhaps to "help." We know Jesus brings a HUGE crowd. She's got a lot of work, and my mother brain is still saying in the back somewhere, "so..she just...doesn't do it? then who will?." The answer? Jesus will. He broke bread and fish for the 5000, he turned water into wine. He will meet your needs. Not wants. Not weird pet peeves. Your needs. When Martha complained to Jesus about Mary, He told her no. He wouldn't tell her to stop listening and go do what she "should" have been doing. "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed-or indeed, only one. Mary has chosen what is better, it will not be taken from her."
What a lovely thought. Things are so temporary in this world. Smudges will be there again, as soon as she gets another cookie. The gas tank will have to be filled up again. Even your family and the people in your life and your world are temporary, but Jesus is something that will always hold steady and will never be taken from us. That, in itself, gives such hope and the first huge sigh of relief of the day. :)
It's like smudges on a window. No, follow me here. It's well established that I am, indeed, a Type A personality. I enjoy long walks around a neatly lined and organized track, knowing exactly what goes into my food, and crystal clean windows. This, to an extent, is my God-given personality and is the instrument He chooses to use for His purposes (when I'm not being all about me-ish). However, I abuse this gift and go completely Martha when I should be Mary. (Luke 10:38-42) I am getting much better (which I'm sure any frequent reader is glad of, since it tends to be the meat of my blog posts lately. I promise to be more entertaining in the next season of my life ;)) but it's my native language (the Martha thing) and even when I become fluent in Mary, if I'm not speaking and living only in Mary, Martha jumps back in quite often. In this Martha time, smudges on windows are just horrible. Not just a fingerprint, give me a break, I'm not that crazy ;). It's the smudges with milk/cereal/unknown food/etc in it that dries and is visible from no matter where you're looking from. I've found myself glancing out the window and seeing these smears all over, stopping whatever is going on, going to get some weapon to fight the dirty mess, and then going back to my day. Not once in this time did I notice what color the leaves were, or if there was a bird on my porch. I was too busy seeing the dirt.
There are days, like today, where it's almost impossible to see the beauty in my life because of all the crazy, "dirty" smudges obstructing my view. I want to battle them, one by one, all the while forgetting the reason I want it to be clean in the first place: to enjoy the life God has given to me. Martha complained to Jesus that Mary wasn't helping her, which, I'm afraid I would have been pretty annoyed too. It's martha's house, her sis has come over perhaps to "help." We know Jesus brings a HUGE crowd. She's got a lot of work, and my mother brain is still saying in the back somewhere, "so..she just...doesn't do it? then who will?." The answer? Jesus will. He broke bread and fish for the 5000, he turned water into wine. He will meet your needs. Not wants. Not weird pet peeves. Your needs. When Martha complained to Jesus about Mary, He told her no. He wouldn't tell her to stop listening and go do what she "should" have been doing. "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed-or indeed, only one. Mary has chosen what is better, it will not be taken from her."
What a lovely thought. Things are so temporary in this world. Smudges will be there again, as soon as she gets another cookie. The gas tank will have to be filled up again. Even your family and the people in your life and your world are temporary, but Jesus is something that will always hold steady and will never be taken from us. That, in itself, gives such hope and the first huge sigh of relief of the day. :)
Monday, December 20, 2010
A time for everything
Confession: I do not really like being a full time stay at home mom.
okay, okay, I know. your reaction was probably like, "gasp!!! but Heather! You craft!" I know. You would think the pre-school teacher turned mom would be right where she's comfortable, but I'm not. Not that I want some full time job that would keep me away from them all the time, but a few hours away a few days a week makes me a better mommy. I know that in this season of my life, my calling and job is to be home with them. Not that I don't enjoy it, by any means. I love it. I just sat at a little wooden princess table and had tea and coffee (water) with some dinner (oatmeal squares) while wearing crowns (I had to borrow Story's) and I wouldn't miss that for anything.
Throughout this time when things get stressful and crazy (basically since Story was born and slowing down now), I've spent a lot of time in Ecclesiastes. God has been showing me so many things and one of the most recent things has hit my heart so hard. Many people know the "a time for everything" part of this book, but I'll post it for anyone that's forgotten :)
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8
I have read this over and over the last few months at times where I felt like I was failing my family by being so stressed that I actually wanted to just get away a bit. (it's just not a warm fuzzy feeling for a mom). For awhile, God assured me that this was a season and that soon, things would feel "normal" again and we'd be able to enjoy each other and love each other without the physical exhaustion and mental numbness you have with a newborn. However, I began looking to these verses incorrectly without even realizing it. Slowly, Satan whispered God's word just a tad twisted like he's done so many times before to me and others before me (Eve is a very good example if you're looking for one). I began looking at these verses like some sort of promise that though my life is crazy now, it won't be later. That some day, my kids will be in school, I'll sleep through the night, and have date nights with my husband. Sounds lovely from the outside, but I was wishing away my little girls' youth. A couple of nights ago, I was thinking of all the gifts left to buy for family members that you haven't the first guess of what to get and things of that nature when once again, this thought was blown into my head. God finally spoke firmly to my heart telling me that with this season of craziness that leaves, as will London's cute way of saying "yuv yooo mommy" and Story's look of confusion with new things all around and the big toothless open-mouthed grin when my face comes into view in the midst of it. This season is the season of babies and milestones and cuddles in my lap b/c they're still small enough to rock to sleep. The season that I feel like I have no time to do anything because London constantly wants my attention when, one day, I'll have to beg her to come tell me things about her life. The season where I feel like I'm so behind on laundry that I'll never catch up, but also the season of clean footie pj's on little feet. sigh...sometimes, I wonder why God doesn't just throw a lightening bolt and wake me up to the life going on around me. haha
okay, okay, I know. your reaction was probably like, "gasp!!! but Heather! You craft!" I know. You would think the pre-school teacher turned mom would be right where she's comfortable, but I'm not. Not that I want some full time job that would keep me away from them all the time, but a few hours away a few days a week makes me a better mommy. I know that in this season of my life, my calling and job is to be home with them. Not that I don't enjoy it, by any means. I love it. I just sat at a little wooden princess table and had tea and coffee (water) with some dinner (oatmeal squares) while wearing crowns (I had to borrow Story's) and I wouldn't miss that for anything.
Throughout this time when things get stressful and crazy (basically since Story was born and slowing down now), I've spent a lot of time in Ecclesiastes. God has been showing me so many things and one of the most recent things has hit my heart so hard. Many people know the "a time for everything" part of this book, but I'll post it for anyone that's forgotten :)
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8
I have read this over and over the last few months at times where I felt like I was failing my family by being so stressed that I actually wanted to just get away a bit. (it's just not a warm fuzzy feeling for a mom). For awhile, God assured me that this was a season and that soon, things would feel "normal" again and we'd be able to enjoy each other and love each other without the physical exhaustion and mental numbness you have with a newborn. However, I began looking to these verses incorrectly without even realizing it. Slowly, Satan whispered God's word just a tad twisted like he's done so many times before to me and others before me (Eve is a very good example if you're looking for one). I began looking at these verses like some sort of promise that though my life is crazy now, it won't be later. That some day, my kids will be in school, I'll sleep through the night, and have date nights with my husband. Sounds lovely from the outside, but I was wishing away my little girls' youth. A couple of nights ago, I was thinking of all the gifts left to buy for family members that you haven't the first guess of what to get and things of that nature when once again, this thought was blown into my head. God finally spoke firmly to my heart telling me that with this season of craziness that leaves, as will London's cute way of saying "yuv yooo mommy" and Story's look of confusion with new things all around and the big toothless open-mouthed grin when my face comes into view in the midst of it. This season is the season of babies and milestones and cuddles in my lap b/c they're still small enough to rock to sleep. The season that I feel like I have no time to do anything because London constantly wants my attention when, one day, I'll have to beg her to come tell me things about her life. The season where I feel like I'm so behind on laundry that I'll never catch up, but also the season of clean footie pj's on little feet. sigh...sometimes, I wonder why God doesn't just throw a lightening bolt and wake me up to the life going on around me. haha
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Flawless Beauties of His
woah, two blog posts in a row?! It'll never happen again, don't worry ;).
Since I first surrendered to the calling of ministry 5 years ago, God has been teaching me more and more about women. (That could be why I was given two daughters and not sons. I need lots and lots of lessons) Of these lessons, one of the biggest has been the battles that Satan fights to ensure difficulty in women breaking free. One is men against women, quite a bit ahead of that one is women against women, but the absolute hardest battle is women against themselves.
With the genders, you're fighting insecurity, possession, jealousy, ignorance, and plain old stupidity. Women against women isn't that different except those emotions are stronger. The jealousy is stronger, the insecurity is harder, and the ignorance is the reigning one of all. Women have no idea that they have more in common with women as a whole than they'd care to believe. It's easier to "hate women" because they're "all catty, backstabbing, and crazy." When in fact, women are strong, nurturing, creative, and loving people. I promise you they are. That's even what I'll devote my life to proving.
But, then comes in the largest battle. The one that causes me, and other women devoted to God's daughters, to go head to head in a vicious spiritual battle. Women vs. themselves. You see it all over. Someone jokes with them in a way that's inappropriate or borderline offensive. A comment is made by someone or the woman about the way she looks in something while she watches all the other girls in the same clothing, and they "pull it off." These women would probably agree with you on how wrong those things are about other women. "They should never say that about Grandma!" or "That's not something that should ever come out of anyone's mouth to the pastor's wife." or "She's beautiful! I think she dresses so lovely, and she's crazy to think she's not gorgeous!" but if you turn those around on them, they'd hang their heads.
Why? Why is it worse for someone to say something almost mean in a joking way to the pastor's wife, but not about you? Why should people stand up for that young girl, but you're fine to just shake off hurtful comments? and why, oh why, do you not see how lovely you are?
One day soon, you should sit and open the book Song of Solomon and read your Beloved's letter to you. It is symbolic of Jesus' heart towards us, His church, and He feels this about you personally. Not just the pastor's wife, though her too, not just that cute passionate girl, though her too, but you. You, His flawless one.
You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you. -Song of Solomon 4:7
Since I first surrendered to the calling of ministry 5 years ago, God has been teaching me more and more about women. (That could be why I was given two daughters and not sons. I need lots and lots of lessons) Of these lessons, one of the biggest has been the battles that Satan fights to ensure difficulty in women breaking free. One is men against women, quite a bit ahead of that one is women against women, but the absolute hardest battle is women against themselves.
With the genders, you're fighting insecurity, possession, jealousy, ignorance, and plain old stupidity. Women against women isn't that different except those emotions are stronger. The jealousy is stronger, the insecurity is harder, and the ignorance is the reigning one of all. Women have no idea that they have more in common with women as a whole than they'd care to believe. It's easier to "hate women" because they're "all catty, backstabbing, and crazy." When in fact, women are strong, nurturing, creative, and loving people. I promise you they are. That's even what I'll devote my life to proving.
But, then comes in the largest battle. The one that causes me, and other women devoted to God's daughters, to go head to head in a vicious spiritual battle. Women vs. themselves. You see it all over. Someone jokes with them in a way that's inappropriate or borderline offensive. A comment is made by someone or the woman about the way she looks in something while she watches all the other girls in the same clothing, and they "pull it off." These women would probably agree with you on how wrong those things are about other women. "They should never say that about Grandma!" or "That's not something that should ever come out of anyone's mouth to the pastor's wife." or "She's beautiful! I think she dresses so lovely, and she's crazy to think she's not gorgeous!" but if you turn those around on them, they'd hang their heads.
Why? Why is it worse for someone to say something almost mean in a joking way to the pastor's wife, but not about you? Why should people stand up for that young girl, but you're fine to just shake off hurtful comments? and why, oh why, do you not see how lovely you are?
One day soon, you should sit and open the book Song of Solomon and read your Beloved's letter to you. It is symbolic of Jesus' heart towards us, His church, and He feels this about you personally. Not just the pastor's wife, though her too, not just that cute passionate girl, though her too, but you. You, His flawless one.
You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you. -Song of Solomon 4:7
Saturday, December 11, 2010
It's all about balance
My final final is tomorrow, and I could not be any more giddy. This semester has been so crazy for us with a wild Indian toddler, newborn, internships, and Lance's senior recital and graduation. I'm so grateful for the placement of Christmas and the break this year. Time for us to stop, regroup our thoughts and hearts, focus on God, and then look toward the future of 2011 with school (for me, not lance and I'm only a little jealous), two growing girls, and the launch of the Journey Campus for Central.
My new year's resolution will be to attempt better balance and better time management. The man of the house, as the spiritual leader, carries tons of responsibility spirituality for the family. I realize that fact more each year of marriage. However, the woman of the house carries TONS of responsibility in her activities for every second. I really wished I'd paid more attention to that lesson before now, but I'm glad I finally saw it. On days that I manage my time with a productive day where I have time to chat with God regularly, I'm less stressed and have so many more fruits of the spirit that I can lavish on my daughters and husband. When I say time management, I do not mean work myself crazy to have a spotless house and an amazing feast on the table for dinner by the time Lance comes home. In fact, being Miss Perfect Housewife is honestly a very large personal sacrifice for me. I've learned that I can not do ministry and attempt a perfect life. If I try, it only seems perfect from the outside. I do laundry and clean clean the house once a week and that is a habit I've just figured out works really well with a family busy in 24/7 roles.
But, in the last semester, if I added up the "down time" that I spent on my phone, the computer, or scrubbing my house like crazy until it sparkles, I think I would be embarrassed and ashamed. A minute here and 30 seconds there really adds up and before I know it, it's 11pm and I have two more chapters to read, I'm tired, and now I'll be really tired in the morning for the girls. yay. We all have those "guilty pleasures" that sneak into your life and take over your prayer time without us even realizing it..darn you Sudoku. ;) I just challenge all that read this and find themselves in this same season of life to look at balance in your life. Maybe you could even be my "running partner" of sorts to help me stay on track :)
My new year's resolution will be to attempt better balance and better time management. The man of the house, as the spiritual leader, carries tons of responsibility spirituality for the family. I realize that fact more each year of marriage. However, the woman of the house carries TONS of responsibility in her activities for every second. I really wished I'd paid more attention to that lesson before now, but I'm glad I finally saw it. On days that I manage my time with a productive day where I have time to chat with God regularly, I'm less stressed and have so many more fruits of the spirit that I can lavish on my daughters and husband. When I say time management, I do not mean work myself crazy to have a spotless house and an amazing feast on the table for dinner by the time Lance comes home. In fact, being Miss Perfect Housewife is honestly a very large personal sacrifice for me. I've learned that I can not do ministry and attempt a perfect life. If I try, it only seems perfect from the outside. I do laundry and clean clean the house once a week and that is a habit I've just figured out works really well with a family busy in 24/7 roles.
But, in the last semester, if I added up the "down time" that I spent on my phone, the computer, or scrubbing my house like crazy until it sparkles, I think I would be embarrassed and ashamed. A minute here and 30 seconds there really adds up and before I know it, it's 11pm and I have two more chapters to read, I'm tired, and now I'll be really tired in the morning for the girls. yay. We all have those "guilty pleasures" that sneak into your life and take over your prayer time without us even realizing it..darn you Sudoku. ;) I just challenge all that read this and find themselves in this same season of life to look at balance in your life. Maybe you could even be my "running partner" of sorts to help me stay on track :)
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