Giving compliments

As I was leaving class today and walking through the building, I kept seeing so many women I just wanted to compliment. A Hispanic woman that sits in front of me that is seriously beautiful, even when she has on zero make up and her hair in a ponytail. A beautiful African American girl a few rows over that has the most perfect complexion I've seen outside of photoshop and dresses so cute every single class. A woman that had great shoes, another girl with a warming smile, and so on. This mentality is one that was accidentally, purposely ingrained into myself. If that makes sense.

Several years ago, I had to go to Walmart for something during peak crazy holiday shopping hours. I was, obviously, NOT looking forward to it and almost changed my mind while sitting in my car, until I decided that I would go. I came up with the idea of going in for two things, what I wanted to buy (that I can't even remember now) and to compliment one woman. The purchase, I remember no details from, but the compliment I do. It was easy. I was checking out, and the girl checking me had her name tag on with one of the prettiest names, Ebony. I love it. I remember the way her eyes lit up at a random compliment from a stranger on a day that I'm certain she would have preferred not to be working.

As I left the store, I thought about how different my mentality had been the entire time I was in the store compared to what it would have been. It's hard to get annoyed with people when all you have on your mind is finding good in people. From then on, I would get out of my car with a number. I wanted to compliment 3 women...and not just to gain the number...it had to be a legitimate compliment that I truly meant. Eventually, it just became habit.

Such a small thing not only formed in me to see more good in people, but it also make me get out of my shell a little. I'm really not comfortable talking with strangers and I've never been a great encourager, but there's something that puts you and another person in a good mood when lifting them up.

My favorite part of it? Though I never had the purpose of complimenting women to rub off on my children, and in fact...I thought they were too young, it has. We can't go to a store without London complimenting every. single. woman. she sees. I love it. And she means it. It helps that the girl loves color, sparkly, and accessories, so she ooo's and ahh's over dresses, headbands, wedding rings, whatever.

This is such a random post, but it has been such a blessing in my life that I thought I may as well share. :)

motor mouth

Do you ever just get tired of yourself? I'm not even kidding, y'all. Lately, the thought keeps coming to mind, "...I have NO idea why people keep asking me to hang out! I have zero self control over my mouth." Lance and I both have this sincere urge to be that person in the room that hardly talks, but when they do, you listen because it's always good. He does very well in public with it, then talks up a storm at home. I'm the opposite. I seem to able to control my tongue and discern an attitude or situation before speaking at home, and...not so much in public. Part of it may be because at home, pretty much all my time is spent speaking to people that can either not understand what I'm saying, or isn't listening anyway.

Words are very important to me. I mean what I say, and I hold others to the same...but you would never know that by the amount of chatting away I do, whether harmless chit chat, or words I regret because of a lack of discernment in using my words. I don't have a lot of extra time for much, especially people not related to me, and I would love it if I spent those moments in lifting up others, glorifying my Lord, and finding out more about them and their needs than talking. For more than a year now, the Spirit has been showing me this in my life and I leave almost every single conversation with others thinking, "I wish so badly I'd just been quieter." My lack of self control has not been getting that much better, since I still don't hear the Spirit until I've left the conversation (hard to hear over your constant chatter haha), but I'm still determined to work on it. In fact, I'm rambling on this post because I've decided this will be a serious prayer focus from this point on. Let's hope for the sake of my friends, children, and His name, it'll be a fast transition ;).


This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says:
“In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in QUIETNESS and trust is your strength,
but you would have none of it.
Isaiah 30:15

{This Moment}

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

-Amanda Soule

{This Moment}

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. -- Amanda Soule

Truths of motherhood

I once read a quote on a blog about motherhood that said something along the lines of "Motherhood, to me, was born 11 years ago. I say that because we were born together." It was such a profound thought for me. So often, a situation arises where I attempt to ask myself what I would do or what the thought process would have been during the days before I became pregnant with London. Before I began sharing every space I have, including myself. Before I was born into a new person and role in life. And the truth is? I can't remember. I can't remember how I handled situations, or didn't handle them...I can't remember what my thought process would be in each situation. Perhaps because there wasn't one; perhaps because it's not worth remembering. Probably both.


For some reason, motherhood wasn't something that I immediately fit the mold to. If you knew me before hand, you know why ;). To me, it seems as though motherhood was a certain mold in the beginning. It was a selfless, giving, loving mold. and I overflowed in areas and fell short in other areas. Fortunately for us all, that mold is flexible and easy to customize. The proof of that is seen in how quickly some mothers seem to get it all together. Not everything is perfect in their lives. They may not be sleeping at night..but, they understand what comes with this mold and they're okay with that. I was not that person. Not that I'm completely that person now ;).

But I don't know that I ever realized that motherhood was customizable. I never knew that this can work for my home, but I could throw that out, tweak this, mess with that, until what we had was our normal, our home, and my version of motherhood. Then, I got a new mold when I became a mother of two. (Having two is way different than one, ya know) And all of a sudden, I saw the mold. I was forced to discover it's flexibility because we weren't gonna make it any other way. Where I believed I was failing was really me discovering what was best for my little family. Through those failures, I grew into my role and soul of motherhood. I looked, really looked into the eyes of the little souls that looked up at me. For the first time, I saw the needs of my children before they could even voice them (other than it's just time for a bottle.)

I do not have it all together. In fact, that idea is a complete lie and mothers should not believe that's something that we can truly achieve or you will feel like a failure every day. What you can achieve is love. The full knowledge of what has been placed in your hands and arms. To understand that what you may see as a failure is really motherhood growing pains. That we grow as a mother just as our children grow into beings. At the end of the day, that we said in what we did, what we said, what we spoke through our being is "you are loved. completely, entirely, and just as you are." In the throes of potty training and the baby stage where they have to be bathed after every. single. meal., I find it so difficult to remember these truths. I also know a few mommas in more difficult seasons than me, and hopefully, this can stand as a reminder to us both.

{This Moment}

A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.
-Amanda Soule

Recovery

today, I'm recovering. just a minor operation, but it's left me on the couch a day or two.

I've never recovered before.
I've never taken the time,
even with two babies, I never even slowed
and this perspective is new to me.

the house is quiet, and I'm marvelling at the home we have.
the washing machine is running, without me.
a chubby baby is sleeping peacefully, without me.
our little home is still here.

I've noticed anew the large framed pictures on walls,
little notes and signs that were meant to serve as reminders
that I simply pass by each day,
busy with some new importance.

they were supposed to remind me of who I am, or at least want to be.
to remind me of people and faith,
of little faces behind the stickiness and dirt.
but I forgot anyway.

maybe I don't sit down enough?
but then, there's another thing to add to a to-do list.
maybe I never simply am.
yes, that's it, I believe.

I do.
I do laundry.
I do dishes.
I do diaper changes.

but..I am.
I am partner, not just wife.
I am friend, not just disciplinary.
I am daughter, not just mother.

pupil.
mistake maker.
strong.
loving.

I think this may be my new favorite seat in our home.